If I scream Would you stop?
by LivingLies
Summary: Why does he do this? Am I not good enough? What can I do? I’m not crying... I’m just upset... I know it was my fault... But it hurts so much... Warning: rape, violence, angst, incest, abuse, yaoi, and graphic material. Narusasu. Lemons.
1. He still loves me right? prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

Warning: OOC, rape, violence, angst, abuse, yaoi, and some graphic material.

It's not night yet, but I can't keep my eyes open any longer. It happens sometimes, when he's angry or stressed. I actually lost count of how many times it has happened, but I can't seemed to get used to it.

It hurts, even when he's not trying to be rough. But it wasn't like this in the begining, no, he was tender, he was kind, he used to be gentle and whisper in my ear all the time.

It's been a while since I saw him smile at me, and sometimes I wonder if he cares that this is killing me.

But he's still here, so that must mean he still loves me... right?


	2. It hurts

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

Sasuke POV (very OOC but I'll explain later)

Today was barely bearable to me. He came home angry again. It was probably my fault, I shouldn't ask where was he, it's not my bussiness if he's late from work... even if I know he wasn't in the office, but screwing his lovers brains out.

I hear the bathroom door opening but I can't keep myself from shaking. Why am I afraid of him if I love him? And he loves me back...

"Wash the sheets and make us some dinner, I should be heading for work, I'm already late." I saw his hand getting close to my cheek and I try not to flinch. And fail.

"Take care of that eye, we don't want it to get infected now, do we?" He smirks as he brushes my bangs away from my eyes.

"A-are you gonna be home at eight or...?" I'm not surprised that my fear shows in my voice, but I don't want to make him angry, it hurts when he's angry.

"Sure, babe... and make sure you clean the floor, you made a mess" His voice is cold, like it usually is.

"I-I'm sorry... it won't happen again..." ..._you shouldn't hurt me this bad_....

"Sure it won't" I see his face coming closer and close my eyes as he kisses me softly on my lips, a chaste kiss, and it still hurts a little, he steps back and I can see a little of my blood on his lips before he licks them clean. "Take a shower."

I watch him leave the apparment and a wave of panic makes me shudder. But I know he'll come back, because he loves me and he wouldn't leave me.

"I love you..." I say softly before he closes the door. I know he heard me because the door stayed open a little longer, even though he's already outside. _Please tell me you love me..._

"Goodbye Sasuke, be good" And the door closes.

I struggle to get out of bed, it hurts a lot, but I've had worse. I feel my eyes get wet but I don't want to cry today, today should be special...

Why does he do this? Am I not good enough? What can I do?

I'm not crying... I'm just upset... I know it was my fault... But it hurts so much...


	3. How can I not love him?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

Warning: There will be a lemon in this chapter, nothing too graphic, OOC.

This story will have a lot of flashbacks, try not to get confused =)

FLASHBACK

One hour earlier

Sasuke POV

3:15 pm. Wednesday.

He should be home by now. He's late again. I spent more than an hour cooking cause he was supposed to be home at 2 pm and he's late again.

I should get a job. I don't need the money, being an Uhicha actually means being filthy rich, but I could use some distraction instead of just waiting for Naruto to come home. Just when I'm about to call him the door opens and there he is.

"Hey babe, there was a problem in the office and I had to stay a little longer." I stare at him as he comes closer. Is that...? oh God...

"Where were you, Naruto?" _Don't lie to me... _

"Didn't you just hear me? I was in the office" He stops grinning because he knows he's lying.

"Naruto, how did you get a hickey on your neck?" _It was Gaara, wasn't it?_

"That's not of your bussiness, you probably did it, I don't know." I try not to scream at him when he crosses his arms over his chest. Not of my bussiness?

"Was it Gaara this time?" _Don't scream Sasuke, control yourself_

He just snorts at me and tries to turn around, I grab his arm before he walks away. Fuck control, he promised it was over between him and Gaara.

"Did you just fuck Gaara in the office? Is that why you were late?" _You promised... _

He pull his arm free from my grasp, he's frowning, I know he's angry, but how can he just lie to me face and fuck with his sex toy behind my back?

"I said it's not of your bussiness. I didn't came here so you could throw a bitch fit on me. Let's eat."

"I'm your fucking boyfriend! How can you say it's not of my bussiness?! You promised it was over, you lying piece of shit! How could you?!" I'm trying really hard not to hit him and settle for screaming at his face. I can feel myself shaking from anger.

"I'm a lying piece of shit? Ha... that's rich. And it is over, this was just a one time thing. Don't make a big deal out of it" He tries to walk away again, but not this time, the first time he cheated on me with Gaara I forgave him, because I push him to do it, it was my fault, but not this time.

"You won't do this to me again, Naruto, you can't just go and fuck anyone you want to like some kind of whore, you're my boyfriend and I had enough of that, this is the last time." I try to sound more calm, I don't want him to get angry, I just need him to take me seriously.

"You're right Sasuke, it is wrong to do that, but darling, last time I checked..." He speaks slowly and comes closer until he's whispering in my ear. "_You _were the whore. You're lucky I wanted you after seeing you getting at it with your brother" I freeze. I can't believe he's saying that. He knows what happened... he...

"That's not... it was..."

"Rape? Heh... funny... I thought rape was supposed to be unwilling, and yet you were moaning and, if I remember correctly, you came all over yourself, like some wanton whore." _Enough._

I feel my hand going numb. I don't even recall slapping him, but he's facing the wall instead of me, so I guess I did. And I'm shaking again.

Everything happens in a blur from there.

He's glaring. He's screaming. His fist makes contact with my face over and over again. But I don't really feel it. It's getting difficult to breath, that's when I realized his other hand is around my throat, trapping me against the wall. My feet barely touching the floor now.

And it hits me. If I don't stop him, he'll kill me.

"S-stop" I grab the hand around my throat with my right hand while my left hand pushes against his shoulder, trying to get him away from me.

He does let me go, and I fall to my knees coughing, trying to get some air into my lungs. There's blood on the floor and I'm starting to feel the pain. It feels like he ripped out my face. His foot makes contact with my stomach and I know that if I don't get up now he'll kick me to unconsciousness.

I just managed to get on my knees again, but he grabs me by my hair and drags me to the bedroom. He's going to...

"N-no... s-s-stop... Naruto w-wait..." It's too late...

He throws me to the bed. Only my torso is lying on the bed, I'm on my stomach. One of his hands is in the middle of my back, keeping me bend over like that, while the other one pulls down my pants and boxers.

It's been a while since he's been this angry. He's only grunting. I bury my face on the sheets. I know what's about to come. I just hope it'll be over soon.

I feel the tip of his member on my entrance. No preparation, no lube. I'll be limping for days...

"You brought this on yourself Sasuke." And he enters me.

I scream into the sheets. It feels like he's breaking me in two. I almost can hear the flesh being ripped. I know I'm crying. It hurts. All I can think about is the pain. He's thrusting fast, making my knees hit the bed beneath us. I feel warm blood running down my thighs.

After what feels like hours he moans and fills me. My hips hurt and I know I'll have bruises there too. I feel his weight on my back as he tries to catch his breath. I whimper when he stands up and pulls out of me. More warm liquid down my thighs.

He kisses my shoulder and helps me to lay down on our bed. I don't know what to think. I'm in too much pain to feel anything else.

"Tsk... look at you... oh baby... We'll be alright... just..." He brushes away my tears with his thumbs as if trying to take my pain away. He cares... "I'm taking a shower"

When he comes back home from work tonight he'll be nice to me. It's always like this. When he hurts me badly he feels bad too, so he takes care of me untill I get better.

How can I not love him?


	4. You’re beautiful

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters. Nor James Blunt, he owns himself.

AN: I'm not against Uchihacest. But this is a Narusasu, not Itasasu. It may have some weird incest stuff. But bear with me. This is just a background to help you know where Sasuke comes from.

FLASHBACK

When his parents died in a car crash Sasuke was only 5 years old, Itachi, being the big brother, had to take care of him. He was an 18 year old boy trapped in a 10 year old body. He had to grow up quickly, being the Uchiha heir and all.

His godfather Kakashi took them in. They weren't allowed to lived by their own, even if Itachi was a genius and mature enough to take take of them both. He was only ten.

Itachi knew that people dies everyday. He wasn't very fond of his parents. His mother was too kind, always spoiling Sasuke. His father was very strict. His corporation was one of the biggest in the whole world, so they didn't actually see him too often.

Sasuke understood what dying meant. He may have been only a child, but he was smart enough to know that his whole life was about to change. He cried for two days. He wanted his mom. But his big brother was still there, so he knew he wasn't alone. His big brother wouldn't leave him. He told him that he will always be there with Sasuke. He was too young to die.

Kakashi was a laid back guy. He was very close to the Uchiha family. He was at their wedding and he even saw the two heirs being born. He never got along with Sasuke's big brother. Itachi was too stoic. But Kakashi loved Sasuke. He could be a spoiled brat sometimes, but he was smart and kind once you got to know him.

Sasuke thought that it wasn't so bad. He still had his big brother and living with Kakashi and his boyfriend Iruka was kind of cool. They had a maid and Sasuke enjoyed spending time with her too. Her name was Shizune. And she made the best chocolate with marshmallows in the world! Second best. His mom always made it taste better.

He didn't want to go to school, kids were stupid. One day Itachi took him to the park and all the girls wanted to play with him. He didn't like girls. They were too sticky. So he had a special teacher, just like his big brother.

He had to listen to him all day long, even on Saturdays. And when he didn't pay atention, the teacher would scream at him. Ebisu was mean to him. Not like Orochimaru, his brother's teacher. He was creepy, but he never screamed at Itachi. He even kissed him on the cheek and neck and play with his long silky hair. Itachi's hair was beautiful.

It was nice having a new family. Kakashi and Iruka made things so fun. Like, on his birthdays, they would buy Sasuke a big cake, watch movies and they even bought him a piñata once! Itachi's birthdays were more boring. He didn't like cake. Or movies. Or piñatas. But Sasuke enjoyed Itachis birthdays too. Especially since Itachi's 13th birthday. They met at midnight at Itachi's room. That was the best part! Because his big brother got in bed with him and hug him for hours. It was their special birthday secret. Itachi said that it was the best present. And Sasuke was so happy feeling loved again. Even if Itachi sometimes moved against him or made weird noises.

When Sasuke turned 12 Kakashi had a talk with him. He told Sasuke things about changes on his body and hormones. Sasuke didn't ask any questions. But he found out that it was normal when his brother got in bed with his teacher Orochimaru. Or when his brother came at his room at night and kissed him on the lips while touching himself in weird places. It was all normal. Kakashi said so.

One day he had to ask his brother some things. Was it normal too when Itachi cried after Orochimaru left his room? Where did the blood on his sheets come from? But Itachi only said that it was alright. He told his little brother to stay away from Orochimaru. So he did.

Sometimes they would go shoping with Kakashi and Iruka. That was fun too. They always bought Sasuke everything he wanted. And Itachi always came back home with dozens of books.

It was Sasuke 16th birthday when he met _him. _They were buying cd's, Kakashi and Iruka went somewhere else. So Itachi and Sasuke stayed at the record store. _He _was blond, loud, dressed in orange and had the most beautiful blue eyes Sasuke had seen. He was looking at the cds while talking loudly with a brunette. Sasuke couldn't look away from him. He was handsome, Sasuke thought. Blue eyes looked at him and his heart skipped a beat. The blond smiled. Sasuke stared.

"You're beautiful" The blond said with a grin and Sasuke could feel his cheeks getting warm. His mouth opened and closed several times, but he didn't know what to say. '_You're gorgeous.' _He thought. "That's the only one I've heard, it was actually good. Do you like it?" '....what?' Sasuke wasn't very good at socializing, he had a private teacher and never found a reason to make friends. He was good at making an interesting conversation, but he didn't want to voice his confusion at the blond stranger. So he just stared some more.

"Hmm... James Blunt. The cd on your hand... anyway. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I haven't seen you around, I go to Konoha High School, do you go there too?" It looked like the blond wasn't done talking, but Itachi took his brother arm and told him that Iruka and Kakashi were waiting for them.

Just before leaving the store, Sasuke turned around. He didn't want to leave yet. But he didn't want to have his brother dragging him out of there either. "Sasuke" He said, loud enough to be heard, but not as loudly as the blond.

"See you around... _Sasuke_." And Sasuke smiled. He didn't even cared too much when his brother dragged him out of there. Or when Kakashi teased him about the stupid look on his face. '_High School, huh?_'

"Are you sure, Sasuke? It could be dangerous... it's not easy being an Uchiha, just ask your brother about it. And being in high school is much worst than college. Think about it. Okay?" Iruka asked him concerned. Kakashi actually looked surprised. Itachi just looked like always.

"Hn. I want to go to Konoha High School. Kakashi said it would be good for me to make friends and all that stuff. So why not?" It is always good to take something the grown ups say and use it against them.

"We'll see..." If Sasuke wasn't the spoiled teenager he would have been disappointed by that answer. But he was Sasuke Uchiha after all.

'_High School it is'_


	5. It's the one you love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

That was the first time I saw him. I never thought that I would be the one to fall in love at first sight. But I fell for him, and I fell hard.

I must look so stupid smiling with tears all over my face. And I even feel stupid for hoping he'll get home soon. But I know deep inside that he loves me. He loves me so much that he gets jealous to the point of not allowing me to get out of the house without him.

I've been in bed for more that an hour, just thinking about him and the first time I saw him.

As I try to get out of bed I feel the pain I thought it wasn't there anymore. Sometimes I forget about everything when I think about him. Does this happen to him too?

I don't even know how I made it to the bathroom. The pain's getting worse than I thought it would. I close my eyes to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I open the gabinette and take the painkillers.

Taking a deep breath I open my eyes. Shit... I hope I don't need stitches this time. There's a big cut on my lower lip. A big bruise on my face and I can't open my left eye. It's so swollen that I'm afraid to even touch it. But is fine, it will be better in a couple of days.

I limp to the shower and turn it on. It hurts but I need to wash away all the blood. Naruto hates to see me like this.

I'm going to have to call Neji to tell him to meet me some other day. If he sees me like this he'll panic. He'll say something stupid about me being abused by Naruto. But that's not the case. It's not like Naruto can control himself. But I should be able to control my actions.

The first time he acted like this I was scared beyond words. I never thought that he could be violent. He was always so kind to me. He used to treat me like if I was fragil enough to break. I guess he did break me somehow...


	6. Nice to meet you

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I don't think this story it's good anymore, but I hate to let things unfinished. So I'll make it quick.

THE BEGINING

It started almost the first day Sasuke went to high school. When he saw the blond he knew he made the right thing. Sure it had been just like Iruka said it would. Everyone was aware of him being an Uchiha and what it meant. He became the most popular boy in matter of minutes.

Of course, the blond wasn't really surprised. He just hoped it would be easy to get to know the raven.

Sasuke did manage to find a good friend, besides the blond. His name was Neji Hyuga. He was also what could be consider a 'spoiled brat' like the Uchiha. They were very much a like, Sasuke and Neji. And they found themselves getting close without them knowing.

When Neji found out that Sasuke liked Uzumaki Naruto he tried to support his friend. After all, Neji was one of the blond's friends too.

It wasn't easy. Naruto was sick and Neji couldn't help getting worried about Sasuke. It wasn't a terrible disease. Naruto was bipolar. Now, it isn't like everyone thinks it is. Naruto was on medication, so it wasn't dangerous.

That's how Sasuke and Naruto started dating after less than two weeks of knowing each other.


	7. Happy birthday

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

FIRST KISSES

The first time they kissed it wasn't romantic at all. They had been arguing about what movie they should see. Naruto was the action-movie kind of guy while Sasuke loved scary movies.

Naruto was tired of Sasuke's rambling about how stupid action movies were so he shut him up with a kiss.

It was just lips on lips first. But in seconds Sasuke was against the wall with Naruto's hands on his hips. His own hands were busy caressing the blond's neck and scalp.

Naruto was always the one taking control of the kiss and Sasuke just submitted to him. One month. And the raven was deeply in love.

The kisses turned into something more in weeks. Sometimes they even made out on public. Sasuke didn't like that but Naruto always found a way to make him stop caring about other people.

Like that one time at Neji's house.

It was a Friday night and Neji invited his friends over to celebrate Naruto's birthday. All of Naruto's friends were there. Kiba, Shino, Lee, Shikamaru and Chouji were talking about college plans and stuff like that while Neji prepared some drinks. It was October 10th. So it was a little cold. Sasuke and Naruto where cuddling under a thick blanket. Sasuke sitting on Naruto's lap. It was just an innocent cuddling until Naruto started running his fingers through Sasuke's thighs. Naruto's other hand was busy caressing the skin on Sasuke's lower back and playing with the waistband of the loose jeans from time to time.

Sasuke had his face buried on Naruto's neck, kissing softly the skin he found there. Biting when the hand on his back squeezed his bottom, his own hands around Naruto's shoulders. Nobody was paying attention anyway. Naruto thought. So he ran his hand from Sasuke's thigh to his groin. He smiled when he heard Sasuke's small gasp against his neck

He started rubbing the hardening member with his right hand while his left hand was inside Sasuke's pants and boxers, squeezing and cupping the soft skin. The soft movements turns frantic when he started thrusting up against Sasuke.

"Guys! Cut it out!" Neji's voice woke them up from their slumber. They turned to look at each other's eyes. Naruto grinned. Sasuke smiled. After a quick apology to Neji, without breaking eye contact, Sasuke kissed Naruto on the lips. Running his tongue over the soft lips. And they started rubbing and thrusting again.


	8. What have you done now?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: First I'd like to clear some things out.

I'm bipolar. So this is not a fanfic against people with this problem.

Now. This chapter is to explain what Naruto thinks and feels about this whole situation. I'm not trying to make him look like the bad guy, he's just a little unstable =)

Naruto POV

It's late. Sasuke probably knows that something happened. But I couldn't help myself. Sometimes is like this. I was at the office about to leave to get home to Sasuke. Then Gaara came in. It is not what it looks like. He is my boss. But he's also one of my best friends. We had an affair a while ago. I stopped going to the therapy sessions, I know I need to get my medication changed but I really hate to think of myself as a mental case and that damned therapist makes me feel that way.

I don't like to get it out on Sasuke. That's where Gaara comes in the picture. He doesn't care if I use him as a stress ball. And I don't mind it either. I actually never thought about it as cheating, but that's what I'm doing.

The first time it happened was when Sasuke started fearing me. I know. What kind of boyfriend am I to make my own lover scared of me, right? But I didn't want to force him. And Gaara was willing to help.

However, that's not the case today. It just sort of happened. We started talking about work and Sasuke and before I knew it he was bend over the desk with me pounding into him. Sasuke will be so pissed this time. I promised I wouldn't let this happen again.

I open the door to the apartment and found him with the phone on his hand. He was probably about to call me.

"Hey babe, there was a problem in the office and I had to stay a little longer." That's not entirely false...

"Where were you, Naruto?" I knew he wouldn't make things easier...

"Didn't you just hear me? I was in the office" I don't enjoy lying to him. He knows that I wouldn't lie if I didn't have to. I don't enjoy hurting him either...

"Naruto, how did you get a hickey on your neck?" Fuck... stupid Gaara...

"That's not of your bussiness, you probably did it, I don't know." _Just let it go Sasuke... _

"Was it Gaara this time?" What? Who else could it be?

I don't want to have this discussion right now, so I just snort and try to walk away, but he grabs my arm.

"Did you just fuck Gaara in the office? Is that why you were late?" If he knows it then why does he even ask? This is stupid. I pull my arm free and frown. What does he expect me to say, damnit?

"I said it's not of your bussiness. I didn't came here so you could throw a bitch fit on me. Let's eat." I am hungry after all...

"I'm your fucking boyfriend! How can you say it's not of my bussiness?! You promised it was over, you lying piece of shit! How could you?!" _Stop screaming. _

"I'm a lying piece of shit? Ha... that's rich. And it is over, this was just a one time thing. Don't make a big deal out of it" I try to get away. I really don't want to lose control.

"You won't do this to me again, Naruto, you can't just go and fuck anyone you want to like some kind of whore, you're my boyfriend and I had enough of that, this is the last time." Me? A whore? He has to be kidding...

"You're right Sasuke, it is wrong to do that, but darling, last time I checked..." I lean forward to whisper in his ear. At least that's better from screaming. "_You _were the whore. You're lucky I wanted you after seeing you getting at it with your brother" That's true. How can he say I'm a whore after I forgave him that time?

"That's not... it was..."

"Rape? Heh... funny... I thought rape was supposed to be unwilling, and yet you were moaning and, if I remember correctly, you came all over yourself, like some wanton whore." I shouldn't have said that but-

My cheek burns and I just realized he slapped me. _Slapped_ me. And I lose it.

I grab him by the neck, push him against the wall and start hitting him on the face. Hard.

"S-stop" He says putting his hand over mine. I didn't even knew I was choking him. But then again, he's trying to push me away. _What? Do you think you can slap me again?_

I let him go and he falls to the ground. I can't control myself now. I kick him on the stomach and make him lose his balance. Once he's on the floor I kick him again and again. He tries to get up. _Are you going to leave me after this?_

He's coughing, I see his hand and remember when he slapped me and I'm too far gone to stop myself now.

I grab him by his hair and drag him to the bedroom. He's saying something but I can't hear anything now.

I throw him to the bed and made sure he stays that way pushing him down with one hand. With the other I take his pants off.

_I should stop... _But I don't really want to. I stroke myself as I see his soft skin exposed. I put my member over his puckered entrance. _Who's the whore, Sasuke?_

"You brought this on yourself Sasuke." I hear myself say. I don't even know what I meant with that. But I don't think I can stop now.

I enter him roughly. It hurts. He's too tight. I start thrusting. Willing his body to recognize me and relax. After a few thrusts It doesn't feel so dry anymore and my member slides easily now. I start going faster. _You won't ever leave me Sasuke._

I feel I'm about to come. I grab his hips and go faster. Almost there. My orgasm washes over me and I fall on top of him. _What have I done?_

I pull out of him. He's bleeding. I kiss his shoulder and try to get him in a more comfortable position. _Why didn't you stop me?_

"Tsk... look at you... oh baby... We'll be alright... just..." _Don't cry..._ I hate to see him crying. I hate to know that I'm the one that caused it. I can't bear to see him anymore. "I'm taking a shower" I say and try as fast as I can to get out of there.

I turn on the shower and let it fall on me. I look down and see his blood still covering my member. There's also blood on my hand. I wash it away. I don't want to think about it. As soon as I'm finished I dry myself with a towel and dress with the same clothes I left on the toilet.

I open the door and look at the bed. He's shaking. But at least he stopped crying...

"Wash the sheets and make us some dinner, I should be heading for work, I'm already late." What am I supposed to say? I'm sorry? _Look what I did to you... _I reach out my hand and see him flinch. It hurts. _Don't cry... _I don't know if that thought was meant to him or to myself.

"Take care of that eye, we don't want it to get infected now, do we?" I try to smile at him. But it comes out more like a smirk. I hope he doesn't think I enjoy to see him like this. It kills me to know I'm able to hurt him this way. I brush away his bangs from his eyes and he doesn't flinch this time.

"A-are you gonna be home at eight or...?" But he's still afraid of me. How can he fear me, doesn't he know I love him?

"Sure, babe... and make sure you clean the floor, you made a mess" I didn't mean to sound like an ass. But I don't like it when he's like this.

"I-I'm sorry... it won't happen again..." _I won't hurt you again..._

"Sure it won't" I lean foward and he closes his eyes. I kiss him briefly and stand up. I feel my lips a little wet and lick them. It tastes like blood. "Take a shower."

I just want to get out of there. I open the door and before I can get away I hear his voice.

"I love you..." I freeze. _Do you? _

"Goodbye Sasuke, be good" And I close the door. _I love you too..._

_It will happen again. _I try to calm my breath. I can't believe what I've done. _Someday you'll kill him. _Why didn't he stop me?

Sometimes I wonder if he'll still be home when I get back. It scares me to think that he probably had enough and he wants to leave me. But sometimes...

Sometimes I wish to come home and find it empty. Because sometimes I even scare myself. _Don't let me hurt you again..._


	9. Are you ready for this?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I like to write for myself but it is always good to know that someone likes what you write. I actually thought that no one would read this. Sooo... getting a review made me happy enough to write one more chapter for today. Well... it's only half on it, but I hope you enjoy it anyway =) Oh! And we're back to the flashbacks!

THE NEXT STEP

Kakashi and Iruka were out of town for vacations so Sasuke thought it would be nice to invite his boyfriend to sleep over for the weekend.

Itachi was always busy anyway, so he wouldn't even notice. It was the 23rd of July. Sasuke's 18 birthday.

Sasuke had permition to invite his friends over so he told Neji to stop by later that night. He wanted to spend some time with Naruto.

Itachi gave him a birthday present that morning. It wasn't like the presents Sasuke gave him when they were younger. They stopped doing that a couple of years ago. Itachi never asked why, but Sasuke knew it wasn't alright for that things to happen with your brother, or family, for that matter, so he stopped going to Itachi's room.

The necklace belonged to his mother according to his big brother. He loved his present.

Around 5pm. Naruto knocked the door. Itachi had been gone for more than an hour saying he would go to one of his friends house. Kisame, or something like that.

So Sasuke opened the door with the brightest smile Naruto had ever seen. They greeted each other with a chaste kiss and went to Sasuke's room to watch a movie.

Sasuke wasn't planning to go all the way with Naruto yet. Of course they had made out and even jerk each other off. But Sasuke wasn't ready to have sex yet.

Naruto couldn't stop talking all the way to Sasuke's room. He was very excited to be alone with his boyfriend. He knew Sasuke wasn't really listening. He was just talking about how he convinced his aunt Tsunade to let him spend the whole weekend at his boyfriend's house. Tsunade wasn't really his aunt. She adopted him when Naruto was four years old. He never met his real parents so Tsunade was both for him.

They reached Sasuke's room and Naruto had to gulp. They were alone. Sasuke asked him to spend the weekend with him. He even told the Hyuga to stop by later so they could have some alone-time. This was it.

"Kakashi gave me this movies to watch them this weekend, I think they're all scary movies. We're ignoring the one Iruka gave me. I'm not watching a romantic movie. Do you want some pop corn or we could order some piz-"

Naruto only saw the bed. Sasuke moving his mouth like talking or something like that. And decided that whatever Sasuke was saying had to wait. So he kissed him. Sasuke didn't mind. He loved Naruto's kisses.

Naruto put his hands on Sasuke's hips while Sasuke had his own hands around Naruto's neck. _This is nice_. Sasuke thought.

Sasuke was too much into the kiss to notice when Naruto laid him down on the bed. Naruto laid on top of him, between Sasuke spread legs. Sasuke moaned into the kiss when Naruto started touching his stomach underneath his shirt.

Naruto's wandering hand found a nipple and started playing with it. Sometimes pinching it a little hard. And Sasuke moaned between kisses.

The raven was getting hard. Naruto could feel his boyfriend's awakening member rubbing against him. He lifted Sasuke into a sitting possition and took his shirt off, exposing pale and soft skin and he couldn't wait to taste it. So he didn't. As soon as the shirt was on the floor the attached himself to one of those hard nubs a sucked it hard being rewarded with a loud moan.

He kept sucking and licking while playing with the other nipple with his fingers. Sasuke was panting and moaning underneath him with his eyes closed and lips parted. A cute little blush on his cheeks and sweat forming on his forehead. Both of his hands were pulling softly at blonde hair.

"Y-yours too... take it... o-off" He said to Naruto between pants. And it took a couple of seconds before the blond understood that he was talking about his shirt. So with one last playful lick at the left nipple he stood and took his shirt off.

But he didn't stop there. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper. Letting his pants fall to the ground. He took off his shoes and socks and stayed only on his boxers.

Sasuke was too busy watching all that tanned skin and muscles flexing to realized that his pants were already on the floor along with with own shoes and socks. Naruto kissed his kneecap and made his way over the raven again, claiming his lips with his own. Sasuke opened his mouth immediately and licked the blond's tongue. Soon they were battling for dominance, knowing the blond always won. But it was always fun to try.

Naruto's hands started roaming Sasuke's body paying special attention to his inner thighs and lower abdomen. Sometimes even dipping his fingers underneath the raven's black boxers. Sasuke began mewling when Naruto started nipping his neck and shoulder making his way up to his ear while thrusting down making their groins rub against each other.

"You taste so good..." He said before biting softly Sasuke's earlobe. He stood up quicky and got rid of his blue boxers. As Sasuke stared at the new exposed skin with his mouth open and eyes glazed over by lust Naruto reached out to take off the black boxers that kept him from losing his virginity to his boyfriend. Sasuke lifted his ass to allow the piece of cloth to leave his body.

"You look so..." Naruto didn't finish the sentence because his mouth found Sasuke's neck again. The raven just allowed his body to be pressed against the matress again. Naruto's hands started roaming again. Touching everything he could reach. Sasuke couldn't do more than caressing his boyfriend's scalp or pulling soft blond hair occasionaly. The only sounds in the room was the one of flesh against flesh and Sasuke's moans and pants.

Sasuke could only whimper when Naruto's hand found one of his buttocks and squeezed hard. The hand started wandering around and one of the fingers found a little puckered hole. Sasuke moaned louder. When the finger pressed harder and started making his way inside of that tight heat the spell was broke.

"W-w-wait... n-not... yet" he wiggled his hips to get the hand away from him. Naruto only frowned.

"Wait... f-for what?" Naruto kneel between Sasuke spread legs. They were so close to do it!

"I'm... n-not r-ready yet..." Well... Naruto didn't expected that. So he just said "Ohh..." and turned his back on Sasuke to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I... I'm sorry... we could... do something else... just not that" Sasuke kneel behind the blond and embraced him from behind. Pressing his chest to Naruto's back.

"It's fine. We should get dressed. I left your present at my house and I'd like to give it to you before Neji arrives." He stood away from Sasuke's embrace and started dressing again.

"You're leaving?" Sasuke asked with clear disappointment on his voice. He covered himself with his sheets.

"But I'll be right back." There was a noise in the hallway and they both turned to look at the door. "I thought we were alone" Sasuke's brother was supposed to be out with his friends. He definately didn't want to meet the guy on his boxers so he finished dressing up quicky.

"It's Itachi... he won't come in... why don't you stay a little longer?" Sasuke wasn't begging. He just didn't want Naruto to leave like this.

"It'll be only a second. Stay there. I'll lead myself out." He pecked Sasuke and in a blink he was gone.

"Damnit..." He laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling. Only to sit up when he heard the door opening slowly.

"Naruto? That was fast..." The smile faltered when he saw his big brother staring at him from the doorway.

"'Tachi! I know it's going to sound stupid. But this is not what it looks like. Well... I mean.... I didn't... we didn't-" He tried not to sound nervous and pressed the sheets closer to his body. But his brother cut him off before he could finish.

"Naruto, huh? The blond that just left? Interesting... I'm not really surprised. I knew you got yourself a boyfriend. I'm happy for you, little brother. I just wish he could have stayed a little longer. You haven't introduced us after all." There was something off. Itachi walked slowly closer to Sasuke. His tone was expressionless just as his face. But something wasn't right.

"I'm sorry 'Tachi... I know I should have told you sooner..." His big brother's eyes weren't looking at his face but at his naked state underneath the white sheets. He raised an elegant eyebrow in... amusement? Curiosity maybe?

"Mmmh... we haven't..." Sasuke couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. He felt his face getting warm.

"That's good" Itachi deadpanned. Sasuke saw a flash of something beneath his brothers gaze. His brother was almost sitting on his bed now. When did he got closer?

"I... guess so" His brother never made him feel nervous so... what was happening?

"You know, Sasuke? My first time was not what I expected. It was with the wrong person at the wrong time. The first time should always be special. Mine was actually horrible. But we can change that, you know?" There was a little smirk-smile forming on his big brother's lips. He sat on the bed, next to Sasuke and facing him.

"What do you mean 'Tachi? How can you change that?" There was a glint of insanity on his brother's eyes now, his face was getting closer and one on his hands was rested on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Well, little brother, that's quite easy. Your first time is going to be special. And what happened on my fist experience will be erased after this." His face was way too close now. The smell of alcohol hit Sasuke's nose and his eyes widened in realization. "Because I am going to be your first. And I'll make sure to make it imposible to forget"


	10. Itachi loves his little brother

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: INCEST!

Itachi loves his little brother.

He watched Sasuke grow from a cute little child into the gorgeous teenager he is today. Itachi always knew that his feelings for his little brother weren't right. But there was nothing he could do about it.

Itachi and hormones are a terrible combination. But Sasuke's innocence made up for it. He couldn't take what he wanted from his little brother. So he tried different things. Sasuke was very naive when it started. So there wasn't really a problem.

But Itachi was afraid of tainting his little brother. That's why he never touched him like he wanted to.

But now that Sasuke has a boyfriend his innocence would be taken away. That blond kid was bound to taint Sasuke. And Itachi couldn't do anything to change it.

He gave Sasuke the necklace his mother gave him when he was nine. It was a very special necklace. His mother told him to give it to the person he loved the most. Even at that age, Itachi knew that only Sasuke could have the necklace. So he waited. Waited to see if he was loved in return. And he was. But not the way he wanted to.

So Itachi gave up. He gave him the necklace. Saying only that it was his mother's. He didn't mention the part about giving it to the love of his life. What Sasuke didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

And he left the house. Kisame's place wasn't that far and the weird man always had alcohol and conversations stupid enough to keep him distracted. He didn't want to stay in the house and hear how his brother was being taken.

Kisame's house was a wreck. Last month was Itachi's 23rd birthday and Kisame decided to throw him a little party there so there was enough alcohol to drown his concience.

So he drank until he forgot about everything. Well... everything but Sasuke. But he felt different now. Somehow things changed. Itachi didn't have to give up on Sasuke. Everything was so clear now...

He got up the couch and left Kisame's without a word. He couldn't walk without stumbling but he remembered the way home. So everything was alright.

When he got home he tried to be very quiet. He didn't know knew why but he didn't make a noise anyway.

He got to his room on the second floor. Sasuke's room was just across the hall. He walk into his room and closed the door slowly. He could hear something. But just barely. Someone was talking but no moaning could be heard. That made Itachi feel very happy. The blond kid won't taint his brother. He doesn't deserve to have Sasuke.

All Itachi needed to do now was wait. Wait for the blond to go home or... make him go. He shouldn't be there anyway. The stupid blond just wanted to take Sasuke's innocence, Itachi knew it and he wouldn't let it happen. Not again.

When Orochimaru took his body and tainted him, he just let it happen. It wasn't so bad... sometimes Itachi even asked his teacher to take him. But it always felt wrong afterwards. He felt dirty. Like he had been stripped of his own skin and everyone could see how filthy and weak he really was.

He banged his head against the door hard. Sasuke would make things better. He was pure. He would clean Itachi. And his big brother would have something that belonged to Sasuke. And nobody would take that away from him.

The sound of footsteps and the front door being closed was proof enough that this was meant to happen. He hurried to his little brother's room and opened the door.

"Naruto? That was fast..." His little brother looked surprised. _Naruto..._ Itachi was glad to know the blond's name now. If he remembered correctly he had been dating his little brother for... what? 1 year, 10 months now?

"'Tachi! I know it's going to sound stupid. But this is not what it looks like. Well... I mean.... I didn't... we didn't-"

"Naruto, huh? The blond that just left? Interesting... I'm not really surprised. I knew you got yourself a boyfriend. I'm happy for you, little brother. I just wish he could have stayed a little longer. You haven't introduced us after all." _He won't taint you, little brother. I won't let him._

"I'm sorry 'Tachi... I know I should have told you sooner..." _But he already tried, huh?_

"Mmmh... we haven't..." Itachi's body was moving closer to Sasuke now. And the blush on his little brother's face seemed to glow on his pale skin.

"That's good" _So beautiful... so pure..._

"I... guess so"

"You know, Sasuke? My first time was not what I expected. It was with the wrong person at the wrong time. The first time should always be special. Mine was actually horrible. But we can change that, you know?" The smile on his lips seemed to make Sasuke nervous. And that fact made him smile a little wider. He sat on the bed, close to Sasuke and never breaking eye contact.

"What do you mean 'Tachi? How can you change that?" _So innocent..._ He rested his hand on his little brother's shoulder and leaned forward.

"Well, little brother, that's quite easy. Your first time is going to be special. And what happened on my fist experience will be erased after this." His nose was almost touching Sasuke's and his little brother's eyes widened making him look even younger. "Because I am going to be your first. And I'll make sure to make it imposible to forget"

Sasuke was terrified. He didn't want to do this. They weren't supposed to do this. They were brothers and he loved Naruto. He wanted to wait until he was ready to give himself to Naruto. And the person licking his cheek right now wasn't his brother. His big brother was always calm and collected. This man in fron of him was a stranger. So yes, Sasuke was very scared.

"S-stop playing 'Tachi... You are joking right?... 'Tachi..?" His brother's lips were attached to his neck now. Sucking hard on the tender skin. When he bit Sasuke where neck meets shoulder he yelped and tried to push his big brother away.

"D-don't... N-no!! S-stop it!" _'Don't stop!' I won't little brother..._

He grabbed both of his little brother's wrist in one tight fist and pushed them against his soft bare chest. With his other hand the unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down, freeing his hardening member. He could hear Sasuke screaming and thrashing beneath him. But he couldn't make the words out.

He settled between Sasuke's legs, spreading them wide. He put his tip against the boy's entrance, prodding teasingly. He remembered the words Orochimaru told him on his first time. The way his teacher took him and the feeling of being filled. He never had sex with anyone else. But he knew what to do because Orochimaru taught him. Many times.

"Don't do this... please 'Tachi... please!!!" _'...Please!!!' _He screamed as his older brother pushed his shaft into his tight ass slowly. Sasuke screamed again as Itachi pulled out and slammed back in, slightly tearing Sasuke's tight passage.

"Please, 'Tachi!!!" Sasuke screamed as Itachi hit his prostate over and over again relentlessly. He was painfully hard now. He didn't know for what was he begging anymore. His body was betraying his mind and he was aching for release. He was now crying and screaming his big brother's name, out of both pain and pleasure. Little did he know that there was someone watching them from the doorway.

"Sasuke!" Itachi yelled, slamming roughly into his little brother. Itachi was now pumping his little brother's length. Sasuke let out a choking sob. "Please!" he cried, arching off the bed, his legs wrapped around Itachi's hips.

It was becoming too much. Sasuke realized his hands had been released and both of his brother's hands were grabbing his hips painfully. Itachi was digging his nails into Sasuke's slender hips.

"ITACHI!!!" Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs, tear's rolling down his face, his seed covering both his and Itachi's stomachs. Itachi came a moment later, grunting Sasuke's name, pulling all the way out and slamming back in to the hilt, releasing his seed into the hot tight passage of his little brother. Their screams mingled together as they both found release. Itachi pulled out, then took the shaking and crying boy into his arms, laying down beside him.

"Shh... It's okay, little brother..." Itachi spoke softly, trying to catch his breath. One arm wrapped around Sasuke's waist and his other hand caressing his little brother's wet cheek.

"W-why I-Ita-" Sasuke sobbed but was interrupted by a cold voice.

"Here's your gift. Happy birthday Sasuke." And the blond left.

Sasuke stayed there. His eyes wide open with tears still rolling down his cheeks. He turned his head slightly to look at his big brother's face. Itachi's eyes had widened too and his lips were parted. However, he didn't looked at his little brother. He just stood up and left Sasuke's room to go to his own, locking the door once he got inside.

When Neji got there he found Sasuke curled into a tight ball sobbing and shaking holding a big teddy bear with a bright red bow around the bear's neck.


	11. You've got a friend in me!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I didn't like this chapter. Period.

**Uchiha Michiru:** Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it!

**sha01001:** Thank you. I'm updating everyday =] Vacations... I actually didn't know what to put in the summary. So I made it random. If you have some ideas to change it I'll be glad to know them.

Neji POV

6:00 pm. Wednesday.

"We're here. Thank you, Kakuzu. I'll call you when I'm done." I brush my hair away from my eyes and smile politely.

"Hn." ...What a nice driver. I'll remember that when I pay him. Well... at least he's better than the last one. My hand still hurts sometimes. Who knew a grown up man could bite you if you offended his imaginary god saying 'Good Lord Jesus'? Or screaming it... whatever... his fault for running over a dog to offer him as a sacrifice. Oh yeah... good times...

204... 205... 207. I knock three times on the door. And wait...

_You better not be asleep __Uchiha_... I knock again. Harder this time. And... nothing... Great. I just need my... perfect. I left my cell phone at Shikamaru's. Oh well...

Just when I'm about to leave I hear something. It sounded like glass breaking.

"Uchiha! Open the door. I can hear you're in there, you know?" Seriously, is it fun to make me wait outside?

"I tried to call you. We should go out some other day..." _Oh, you think so?_

"I'm already here Sasuke."

"Just... Wait a second..." Okay...

The door opens and... wow... and by that I mean... What. The. Fuck.

"You look like shit"

"Gee... thanks... I had a rough morning..." _Oh really?_

"Who gave you the shiner?"

"What?... Oh... just... I'm kind of clumsy this morning..." _Yeah right..._

"Sasuke, don't play stupid" He's not inviting me in so I just walk inside and close the door behind me. And I actually thought that this would be a nice day...

"It's nothing, Neji. Really" He looks annoyed. But seriously. How many times has this happen? I lost count after the beating number twenty five.

"Naruto did it, didn't he?"

"...What?" _Do we actually have to play this game everytime?_

"I didn't stutter, Sasuke."

"It was my fault..." I lift one eyebrow and cross my arms over my chest.

"Your fault? How? You hit him on his fist with your face?" He rolls his eyes and limps to the couch. Yes. Limp. I don't even want to imagine what happened this time.

"Neji stop it, don't be like that. You don't know what's going on. And it's not what it looks like."

"What does it looks like, Sasuke?" I sit down on the couch next to him.

"You know... like he always beats me up or something..." _Denial..._

"And he doesn't?" I cross my legs. I know he doesn't like this kind of conversations.

"No! It's not like that... you know Naruto's problem. I just couldn't control myself and pissed him off." He's avoiding eye contact. Like he does everytime something like this happens.

"To the point of hitting you like that?" I asked him in a monotone voice.

"Well... you know how much of a jerk I can be..." He tries to smirk. And he only managed to look sad and kind of... pathetic.

"I do. But I've never beaten you up like that, now, have I?"

"It's different Neji..." I lift an eyebrow again.

"Why? How is it different? Is it because you would hit me back but you let Naruto do whatever he pleases?"

"I can defend myself from him and from anyone. You know that." _Can you?_

"Then why don't you?"

"What do you want me to say? That I'll hit him back the next time?" _Would you?_

"No, Sasuke. I don't want a next time to happen."

"So it won't." _Right..._

"Are you sure of that?"

"I'll watch what I say and do around him. It won't happen again." That sounded so... submissive. He wasn't like this when I met him. He even looks like a whole different person...

"It's like I don't even know you anymore Sasuke..." I say slowly and my voice is not expressionless anymore. I look away from him. _What happened to you?_

"Neji... just because I'm in love and trying to make things work with him doesn't mean that I've changed."

"Being in love does not mean he can do whatever he wants with you." I frown and turn my face to look at him.

"And he doesn't!" He stands up and he looks like he's begging me to believe him. Or he's probably trying to convince himself.

"This is pointless..." I stand up too and walk to the door but he grabs my arm.

"What do you want from me?! Do you just expect me to leave him because we have problems? It is not the way it works Neji!" He screams. He looks like he's about to cry.

"I love Naruto, Sasuke. Not as much as you probably do. But he's been my friend for a long time now. But I just can't do this. I won't stand here and watch it happen." I put my hand over one of his. The one that has a death-grip on my arm.

"What are you trying to say? Watch what happen?" He looks confused. _You don't get it, do you?_

"Watch him kill you! If this goes on you know one day he will." It comes out louder than my usual tone and he quickly let go of my arm.

"Don't be stupid. He loves me. He wouldn't kill me." He whispers and shakes his head as if assuring himself.

"Are you sure of that?" I ask softer and put my right hand on his shoulder.

"..." He looks at the ground and closes his eyes.

"My point exactly. Goodbye Sasuke. Take care of yourself. And please think about this." With my left hand I grasp his chin and kiss him softly on his cheek. He just stands there and I walk out of the apartment.

I walk outside of the building and go to the nearest payphone. I dial the number, insert the coins and wait.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Uzumaki Naruto's office. May I help you?" A femenine voice answers.

"Hello Haruno. I was hoping to talk with Mr. Uzumaki." I said as politely as posible.

"Neji? Hey!! You don't have to be so formal!! Call me Sakura!!" I sigh.

"Sakura. With Naruto. Please." Lee's wife is louder than Naruto sometimes...

"Just wait a second" Waiting...

"Hey Neji! What's up?!" He sounds so happy I almost want to scream at him.

"I'm going out of town tomorrow. Do you think you can meet me somewhere right now?"

"Umm... I'm kind of... working here so... I get out at eight though..." So he actually cares about work now?

"Well, you could always ask Gaara to let you go sooner, right?" _Or to suck your cock some other day so you can go home to your boyfriend._

"Yeah... I guess I could but-" _Whatever._

"I was at your place just now." I bet this will get his attention.

"Oh... really? I hope you didn't have to wait too long. Sasuke's probably sleeping or-"

"I talked with Sasuke." _And I saw what you did. Again._

"Neji... I don't really have time for this right now-"

"He thinks it was his fault, did you know that?" _What are you doing, Naruto?_

"It wasn't his fault..." He sounds remorseful. But he should feel that way...

"Of course it wasn't. You're aware that this will happen again, right? And maybe someday you won't be able to control yourself like you _think_ you have so far. You may even kill him." I know I'm being hard on him. But he needs to understand.

"I know... I'm still on medica-"

"But you stopped going to therapy." _I talked with your therapist last week, so don't lie._

"I know! But I'm trying to find a new one! I-" _Do you think I'm stupid?_

"If you love Sasuke, be fair to him, before it's too late." I hang up the phone.

I don't really know what I'm doing. This is not my bussiness and I should probably stay out of it. But how can I when I know my two best friends are in danger?

I just hope I did the right thing.

It's funny. I was the one to get them together. I talked with Naruto when the whole 'Itachi situation' happened and helped them to stay together. I even tried to help them fix the Gaara problem. And now I'm breaking them apart.

I just hope they understand that I do this because I care.


	12. Let's just pretend

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

Naruto POV

I don't know what to do. After getting Neji's call I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore.

I know what I should do. But I don't want to. I love him. I love him so much... I never thought love could be this difficult. We love each other. Why can't we just be happy together? Why do I always end up hurting him?

"_If you love Sasuke, be fair to him, before it's too late."_

I reach the apartment and pull out my keys. Maybe... maybe he's already gone. I open the door and step inside. Everything's so quiet. What if...?

"Naruto? Is that you?" I sigh as soon as I hear his voice. It would be easier if he was the one leaving me. But I can't help it that I feel happy knowing he's still here. With me.

"Hey Sasuke. How are you feeling?" I walk into the kitchen and there he is, standing over the table.

"I'm fine. I made pasta for dinner, are you hungry? If not we could always eat later." He turns to look at me and I see his face. His eye looks better now. But I can't even fake a smile. How could I do this to him?

"Does it still hurt?" _I'm sorry..._

"No." _Yes..._

"I... talked with Neji today" I tell him walking closer and standing behind him.

"What did he say?" He turns around and I can see he's worried.

"We just talked... he told me he saw you today..." His eyes widened.

"He came by a couple of hours after you left... but I didn't told him anything... he just-" He took a step back. Is he really afraid of me?

"I don't want to hurt you anymore." I say quicky. I don't want him to fear me anymore...

"Then don't" He takes a step closer and touches my hand with his.

"You know it's not that easy..." I grab his hand and entwine our fingers.

"But it is! We'll figure things out... It doesn't have to be like this..." He looks at me with desperation on his eyes.

"Sasuke..." He knows. He knows what we have to do…

"You said you don't want to hurt me anymore, so don't." _I'm sorry…_

"I should... pack my stuff... I could stay in a hotel tonight... maybe if we stay some time apart-"

"Don't do this Naruto... please... stay... we'll work things out. We'll find a way. Just... don't leave." He begs me and his hold on my hand tightens.

"You know... I actually thought you wouldn't be here when I came back..." I speak sincerely and touch his cheek with my free hand.

"I'm not giving up on this, every couple has problems Naruto... I just... I won't give up on us." He puts his hand over the one on his cheek and looks at me in the eye.

"I'll hurt you again... I'll..." _kill you…_

"I'm strong enough to take it." We both know that's not true.

"I just... I had enough of this..." _Don't make this harder…_

"No. Naruto you can't just make this decission without me. I don't want us to be over." His voice starts to break and it looks like he was trying hard not to cry.

"Sasuke..." I let go of both of his hands and take a step back. But he hugs me before I can stop him and buries his face on my chest.

"Just... come to bed with me... please... we could talk in the morning... I j-just... I really need you right now." His voice breaks and he tries to hold his sobbing. I can feel his tears through my shirt. I hold him tightly.

"Okay..." We could pretend things are perfect at least for tonight. Just for tonight.


	13. I sleep just to dream of you

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

"_Come on, bastard! We're gonna miss the bus!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand and drag__ged him to the bus stop._

"_The bus is not even moving you idiot!" Sasuke yanked his hand free and followed the blond to the bus._

"_Whatever" Naruto pulled out his tongue childishly and took a sit at the back of the bus. Sasuke followed him and sat beside him._

"_Where are we going anyway?" The raven said looking outside the window._

"_It's a surprise." The blond grinned and took his pale hand with his tanned one._

"_Tsk..." Sasuke turned his face away from the blond to hide his blush._

_The bus stopped and the blond dragged once again his boyfriend and started running with his hand holding him tightly. The raven only tried to follow him._

_They stopped at an old building and got inside._

"_Why are we here?" Sasuke asked once they were inside._

"_I used to come here all the time when I needed to scape the world outside" He smiled and took Sasuke inside so he could see the place._

_There was a blanket on the floor with a box on top of it. It didn't look as bad as the outside. It was actually kind of cool._

"_Why did you stop coming here?" Sasuke asked walking closer to the blond. Naruto took Sasuke's hand in his and sat on the blanket._

"_Well, I don't have a reason to come here anymore. Why would I want to scape now that I have you?" He smiled sweetly. The raven blushed and gave his own little smile._

"_What's in that box?" Sasuke asked and sat beside Naruto._

"_A present for you. Look inside." He let go of Sasuke's hand so he could grab the box and open it._

_There was a cd inside. Sasuke took it and turned his face to the blond._

"_James Blunt?" He locked eyes with Naruto. _

"_I can't hear it now without thinking of you. So if you keep it you'll listen to it and think of me." He enjoyed being corny. Only if it was with Sasuke._

_Sasuke smiled brightly and kissed the blond on the lips._

"_Thank you." He said and kissed him again. More passionately this time, wrapping his arms around the blond's neck. Naruto put his hands on Sasuke's face and neck and deepened the kiss. When they broke apart for air they were both smiling._

"_I love you..." Naruto whispered and Sasuke smiled and rested his forehead against Naruto's._

"_I've loved you since the first day that I saw you" He whispered back smiling._

"_Hey, Sasuke? Have I ever told you what I thought that day at the record store?" He said softly. Opening his eyes and looking at black ones._

"_No... you never told me..." Sasuke said looking back at those blue eyes._

"_Well... I'll probably tell you one day..." Naruto smiled and kissed him again._

Sasuke woke up. He was lying in bed. He looked around. And called Naruto. But nobody answered. There was a note on the bedside table. Sasuke grabbed it. It was Naruto's handwriting. It said:

**Sasuke:**

**I'm taking some time out.**

**I don't think I can do this anymore.**

**Kiba will stop by at the apartment to grab my things.**

**I'm really sorry it had to be this way.**

**Goodbye.**

**Naruto.**

Well... if Sasuke wasn't broken before. He was now.


	14. Before I forget

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

**Me:** It's not wrong that you're laughing with my story's plot. But at least it is causing you something, isn't it? But lucky for you, you don't actually have to read it. And about all the characters being OOC. Darling... this is fanfiction. Oh and thank you for your review.

**m****e: **Thank you for the review and for reading my story. I hope you stop hating it when we reach the end of it =]

**O.O??:** I was kind of tired of Sasuke always being a prick or the abusive one. I'm really happy that you liked it. Thanks for the review!! n_n

**ILOSTTHEGAME: **I know!! I had to do it!! I liked it when Sasuke's submissive. I promise there will be some happy moments too! I'm trying to update at least one chapter per day while I'm on vacations. Thanks for your review! It means a lot to me.

AN: Please, if there's ANYTHING wrong with the story let me know so I can fix it. As any normal person I don't like it when people think I suck at doing something. I deleted my lash out chapter because I think I overreacted a little. But I'd just like to remind you that English is not my native language. I am trying my best and I'm not going to leave this story unfinished even if some people hated it. That's all, thank you all for your support =] Enjoy.

'_When was the last time I slept?_' Gaara asked himself looking out his bedroom's window. He had been standing there for more than an hour looking at the street and cars passing outside his apartment.

There was a loud knock on his front door and he walked calmly to answer it. He knew it was Naruto. No one else would dare to visit him at three o'clock in the morning. He opened the door and was greeted by teary blue eyes and messy blond hair.

"Hey... did I woke you up?" Said the blond shakingly. In fact, the blond's whole body was shaking.

"Insomniac" Stated Gaara. He stepped aside so the blond could get in.

"I left him Gaara... but he... he didn't want me to leave..." He walked inside staring blankly ahead.

"Hn. I can't say I'm surprised. What did you do? Wait until he was asleep and left a goodbye note?" Gaara lifted an invisible eyebrow and stared at the blond man in front of him.

Naruto nodded absently, still dazed. He sat down on the sofa, staring at his hands, his mind whirling. After a couple of seconds Gaara sighed and sat beside his friend.

"I could transfer you to Suna. I need a new Chief Executive Officer there." Gaara spoke slowly and glanced at the blond. Naruto nodded again. The red head continued.

"I'll call Kankuro and tell him to get a plane ticket. Should I tell him to get some of your clothes at your apartment too?" Gaara asked turning his face to look at his blond friend.

"I already called Kiba. He'll pick up my things before he goes to work. I'm probably going to have to throw most of them away though..." Naruto mumbled tiredly. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, keeping the other on his lap.

"You're not coming back, are you?" Gaara looked at the blond's shaking hand that curled into a tight fist on his lap.

"No... at least... not for a long time..." Naruto shut his eyes tightly and fisted the fabric of his pants with both hands. "I've hurt Sasuke enough. This is the right thing to do... right?" When he opened his eyes he looked at Gaara with pleading eyes.

"I honestly don't know, Naruto." Gaara said and placed his hand over Naruto's. "I think you need some time to yourself. I know a good therapist in Suna. In time you'll be stable enough to come back to him. After all, that's what you want because you do love Sasuke, don't you?" Gaara asked with suspicion in his voice. He stood up and walked out of the living room when he didn't get an answer from the blond.

"I... I'm tired..." Naruto said covering his face with both hands.

"You can have my bed tonight. I need to take care of some paperwork. Make yourself at home." The red head said without turning around. Naruto sighed. _'Are you still sleeping? What are you dreaming about, Sasuke?'_


	15. Are you happy now?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

3:34 am. Thursday.

Sasuke was sitting on the edge of his bed. His small frame shaking violently. With shaking hands he grabbed the phone and dialed the number.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"....Hello?" Answered a sleepy voice.

"Neji! It's me, Sasuke." The raven's voice was desperate. He grasped the phone with both hands and started pacing around the room.

"Oh God... Sasuke... my plane leaves in... three hours... What is it?" Neji said annoyed.

"He... he left me!" Sasuke yelled into the phone.

"Naruto?" Neji asked confused.

"He… He's not coming back, is he?" Sasuke asked as he sat on the bed again, looking at the floor.

"I don't know Sasuke..." Neji's voice sounded softer now.

"What am I going to do?" Sasuke asked, his voice breaking. He covered his eyes with one hand. The other one still holding tightly the phone.

"Sasuke... this is not the end of the world." Neji stated pulling the covers off of himself.

"He's everything I have left..." Sasuke whispered dropping the hand off his face. His eyes watering.

"You don't need to depend on someone to survive. You'll live through this. It'll take some time, but you'll be fine." Neji said softly and walked out of his bedroom.

"H-he was the reason I woke up every morning, Neji. How am I going to survive losing that?" The voice sounded pitiful on the other line.

"You'll find a new reason. It's not-" Neji tried to said but was interrupted by Sasuke.

"You don't get it do you?! I want him to be my reason. I'd do anything..." He fell to his knees and lessened his hold on the phone.

"If he loves you as much as you love him, he'll come back to you, if not, then he wasn't worth it to begin with" Neji tried to sound wise. But there was doubt in his voice.

"If not..." Sasuke whispered to himself.

"Sasuke?" Neji asked after a few seconds of silence.

"What if... he just doesn't love me anymore...?" Sasuke asked pulling his knees close to his chest. One hand flat against the floor.

"Well... you don't know that, come on, just go to bed, things will be better in the morning." Neji sounded worried and unsure.

"It wasn't enough..." Sasuke mumbled.

"What?" Neji asked as he rested his back against his livingroom's wall.

"I tried... but... it wasn't enough... it's never enough, isn't it?" Sasuke asked softly with a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Sasuke..." Neji's voice sounded sad. He just wanted to make his friend feel better.

"He didn't even... I want to call him." Sasuke stated.

"That's probably not the best idea-" Neji tried to argue with him. Sasuke was acting very weird and... needy.

"I need to talk with him. I need to tell him-" Sasuke said desperately.

"Sasuke, stop it." It wasn't a good idea. Neji was sure of that.

"No! I just need to let him know." Sasuke said and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

"God... Okay... call him." Neji gave up on trying to reason with his friend and walked back to his bedroom.

"Okay... okay..." Sasuke whispered and hung up the phone.

--- With Neji ---

Neji sighed and put his phone on his bedside table. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep now. He sat on his bed and turned to look at his sleeping lover. The man was lying on his stomach with one hand close to his face and the other underneath the pillow. His face was peaceful and he looked younger with his soft brown hair around his face.

Neji reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his lover's ear. He could imagine what it would feel like if Shikamaru left him. He smiled softly and placed a kiss on the man's forehead, glad that his boyfriend would think that it was 'too troublesome' to leave him. Neji was probably one of the few people that could understand Sasuke. Even if Shikamaru left him he knew he wouldn't be the emotional wreck his friend was. But Sasuke had his reasons.

Sasuke's parents died when Sasuke was only a child, leaving him with a psychopath for a brother, his carefree godfather and the motherly godfather's boyfriend. Neji didn't have anything against Sasuke's brother. But he didn't like the man much after knowing what he did to Sasuke.

Itachi left Kakashi's house after that day. Sasuke once told Neji that he hadn't spoke to his brother ever since. Neji couldn't forget the look of utter betrayal on Sasuke's face. A couple of months after Itachi left, Kakashi and Iruka moved to some village outside the city. Sasuke stayed in Konoha and bought the apartment he was currently living in and asked Naruto to move in with him.

Suddendly Neji felt guilty. Naruto was the only source of security Sasuke had. And Neji took that away from him. _It was for the best._ He told himself over and over again but that didn't make the feeling go away. Sasuke still had his friends or... Neji and Shikamaru to be precise. Sasuke wasn't alone. Neji shouldn't be so worried about his friend. Everything would be alright... right?


	16. Nobody said

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I want to apologize for this chapter. I don't really know if it makes any sense. One of my closest friends, the one that inspired me to write this, was killed this morning. What an irony... I don't know how to feel about that but I'll try not to affect this story by my personal life. I wrote this after I found out so I don't even know what I was thinking, sorry again. Anyway... thanks for reading. Enjoy.

Sasuke took a deep breath and dialed Naruto's cell phone.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"I thought you were asleep..." Naruto sighed.

"Naruto-" Sasuke hurried to said. He didn't actually thought that Naruto would answer but it was like the blond had seen this coming.

"Sasuke... please don't make things harder..." Naruto sounded tired on the other line.

"You could have woken me up. We could have talked-" Sasuke said only to be interrupted by Naruto.

"There's nothing to talk about, Sasuke." Naruto stated.

"There is! Look... just... let me see you, maybe if we talk about this-" Sasuke begged to him. His voice cracking.

"I don't want to see you, Sasuke!" The blond screamed startling Sasuke.

"....what?" The raven asked in a low voice.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke... I made up my mind... this is for the best." Naruto explained softly.

"How can you say that?" Sasuke ask on a louder voice.

"Look... I just don't think we could work this out by talking..." Naruto said frustrated.

"But we still can work it out someway, right? Because we love each other and that's all that matters." Sasuke said sounding insecure and trying to hold back his own frustation.

"Sasuke..." Naruto whispered.

"You do love me, don't you?" Sasuke asked with fear in his voice. He sat on the bed. Both of his hands holding the phone close to his ear.

"Please... just-"

"Tell me you love me, Naruto..." Sasuke demanded.

"I... I still care a lot about you..." Naruto said softly.

"Did you just... stop loving me?" Sasuke asked trying not to sound as broken as he felt.

"Something changed... I don't know... I'm really sorry..." Naruto's voice sounded oddly sincere.

"Is that the real reason why you left?" Sasuke asked holding back a sob.

"...yes... well... that and... because I don't think it's fair for you to just-"

"Come back home... It doesn't matter if you don't love me anymore. I'll change. I'll be better, I'll be anything you want. Maybe you'll love me again someday. I'll try my best to be everything you want. I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it... please... please Naruto... I'll do anything..." Sasuke begged. Tears were falling freely now. He sat on the floor with his back rested on his bed. He pulled his knees close to his chest and burried his face between them, soaking the fabric of his pants with his tears.

"Then let me go." Naruto pleaded.

"Please! I can't go on without you... I won't give up on us without a fight. We just can be over like this..." Sasuke said desperately shaking his head even if the blond couldn't see him.

"You've been fighting for this long enough... there's nothing left to do." Naruto spoke softly sounding apologetic.

"Don't say that! I know I was a terrible boyfriend. I know I pissed you off all the time. And I'm sorry. But I'll change. Just... please..." Sasuke begged again. His sobs wracking his body.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke... I need some time..." The blond explained.

"Okay! I'll give you all the time you want! But please... please just promise me that this isn't forever... that you will come back to me..." Sasuke tightened his hold on the phone.

"I don't know if I can promise you that, Sasuke..." Sasuke closed his eyes tightly making more tears fall.

"I'll wait for you... no matter how long it takes... I'll wait for you..." He said lessening his hold on the phone without opening his eyes.

"Sasuke... I have to go... please don't call me again..." And he hung up the phone.

Sasuke stayed on the floor. Opening his eyes he let the phone fall to the floor with a thud.

'_It hurts... Naruto... Please... please come back home... I love you so much...'_

Well... Nobody said that love doesn't hurt.


	17. Regrets left behind

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I know I said that I would be updating everyday, but... oh well... I just didn't feel like writing. This chapter probably sucks, sorry about that. I'll try to update soon. Thanks for reading.

**lalala**: Thank you. I'm really happy that you liked it.

"Sasuke... I have to go... please don't call me again..." And I hung up the phone.

I'm sitting in the couch facing the front door. I can feel Gaara's eyes on me from the doorway.

"That was pretty harsh" He says on his monotone voice.

I sigh. This was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to just leave. He would read the note in the morning and probably try to call me a few times, but I wouldn't answer and maybe... maybe someday he would just... stop calling.

I know that what I'm doing it's probably the best way to help him. The most hurtful way to save him from me. I feel like I should probably come back home and just hold him. I know he must be crying right now... he must be crying because I was all that he had left... and I left him all by himself. Fuck... but... what else can I do?

I feel Gaara's hand on top of my shaking hand... I didn't even knew I was shaking...

"Talk to me." He says letting go of my hand. I just shake my head staring at my knees. He stands up and leave. Is there anything to talk about? I already made my decision, right?

I hear Gaara's footsteps coming closer. He sits next to me again and starts pouring vodka over ices cubes in two big glasses. I raise one of them and swallow down about half of it.

"Thanks. I think I needed that." I croak, my voice is loud and rough, resonating on the silent apartment. He remains silent and grabs his own glass. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes. When the liquid was gone I grab the bottle and top off my glass with vodka.

"You know... I think that... maybe if I had broke up with him sooner perhaps... things would be easier... God... I feel like a douchebag..." I rub my eyes with one hand, keeping the other on the sweating glass of ice and vodka.

"You don't love him anymore, do you?" He asked me.

"Would it be easier if I did?" I ask him back. He stays silent knowing that I really wasn't hoping for an answer.

"After... after all that we've been through I... I think that I just got used to being with him... I still care a lot about him... I... I think I still love him... I probably do but... I'm sure I don't love him as much as he loves me." I shake my head and gulp another big swallow of the drink.

"Hn. It's normal, I think." He says awkwardly. I know he's not good at trying to cheer someone up. Not to mention that he hates talking about stuff like relationships.

"I guess..." Another gulp. "But how am I going to say that to him? I know how much he needs me and I'm not even sure of what I feel anymore... I'm trying to stay positive, to think that this is just one mood swing, but... the truth is that I just... don't know anymore." I finish my drink and put the glass on the table.

"Then this time out you're taking will probably be more useful than you thought. All the pieces will fall into place eventually." He grabs both glasses and leaves me alone to take his words in.

I drag myself to his bedroom and drop on his bed unceremoniously. 'Eventually...'

"_Hey, Sasuke? Have I ever told you what I thought that day at the record store?" Naruto said softly. Opening his eyes and looking at black ones._

"_No... you never told me..." Sasuke said looking back at those blue eyes._

"_Well... I'll probably tell you one day..." Naruto smiled and kissed him._

_Naruto grabbed his boyfriend's hand and stood up, the raven followed his example. They looked at each other eyes for several minutes, like trying to memorize every detail, not wanting to forget this moment._

"_Can I touch you?" Naruto whispered softly, placing his hands on his lover's hips, rubbing them with his palms gently._

"_What if someone sees us?" Sasuke asked, a little teasing smile forming on his pink lips._

"_No one ever comes here, I promise" Naruto gave him a big smile and kissed him passionately. His tongue licking the raven's soft lips, begging for entrance. Sasuke's mouth opened eagerly, meeting his boyfriend's tongue with his own and placing his arms around the blond's neck. They parted for air after a few seconds._

"_Naruto... would you... make love to me?" The raven asked shyly, a pretty blush covering his cheeks. Naruto smiled like a child on Christmas. They took each other's clothes off, Sasuke was trembling slightly, with fear or anticipation Naruto did not know. Soon their naked bodies shone by the light from the window._

_Sasuke__ lay on top of the blanket waiting for Naruto to make the first move. Naruto was nervous, it was his first time after all. It wasn't Sasuke first but... he stopped the thought and just tried to concentrate on his gorgeous boyfriend lying beneath him, he approached closer to the raven's hips, and started to stroke his cock softly. _

"_N-Naruto..." Sasuke said, as desire filled his body. "I... I want to touch you too... " _

"_Not yet my love.__" Naruto teased with a smirk on his lips, his eyes glazed with lust._

_Naruto__ moved his mouth onto Sasuke's cock, and began to suck it slowly, his tongue licking it. He could feel the raven's body tremble from pleasure, and Sasuke's hands began to stroke his hair and his back._

"_Naruto..." Sasuke moaned, "Please… "_

_Naruto__ continued to suck Sasuke's cock, and ignored the raven's pleas. Warm seed filled the blond's mouth accompanied by a loud moan as he continued to suck his lover's cock. Only then did he lift his mouth from the softening cock. _

_Naruto__ raised the raven's hips, and reached for the lotion bottle that was inside of his pant's pockets. The blond was kind of hoping that this would happen sometime that day so the thought of making the right decision by bringing the small tube brought a smile to his face._

_He immersed his fingers inside the __lotion bottle and reached between Sasuke's legs to find the little puckered hole. _

_One finger slipped inside as he tried to locate his pleasure zone. Another finger joined the first after receiving a nod from the raven. He began moving his finger's around as he eventually reached the spot, and he could feel his love tremble at his touch as he moved back and forth with his fingers. He tried to make him climax again, but the raven shook his head, wanting more._

"_Naruto... please... now..." Sasuke moaned as the pleasure filled him even more. His eyes held something, he looked a little scared, the blond noticed._

"_Are you sure of this? We could stop now, you know?" Naruto said to him softly as he recalled the reason of his lover's fear._

"_If it's you... then is okay..." Sasuke whispered as he tried to calm his breathing. "I want... I want to... belong to you..." Sasuke said, his face mixed with pleasure and love._

"_You won't regret this." Naruto tried to calm him, smiling gently at him as he pulled his fingers free and moved his cock inside the raven's body slowly._

"_N-Naruto..." Sasuke moaned as the beginning of the pleasure started to grip him along with a little pain. _

_Naruto thrusted into his boyfriend's body slowly, back and forth, and wanted it to last forever. He had waited for this so long._

_Sasuke__'s body began to shiver as the pleasure claimed him fully. He did not __want this to end, either._

"_M-more... Naruto... more..." Sasuke said and moaned louder._

_Naruto__ moved faster and faster, as he approached his own climax, it was heaven, he thought, moving inside of Sasuke. His body trembled as he reached his peak._

"_Sasuke... you feel so good... so good... I'm..." Narutol moaned as he moved faster and harder inside the raven. He received a loud moan and felt Sasuke's fingernails on his back._

_Naruto__ took hold of Sasuke's cock and started to stroke it slowly. He enjoyed the sight of the trembling raven. He loved to hear the beautiful screams of pleasure as he moved back and forth within him. He knew he would become addicted to this. _

"_Come… with… me…" __Naruto moaned as he dragged his nails over his lover's chest._

_Sasuke__ moved with Naruto and raised his head as he tried to kiss him, but the orgasm distracted him from his motivation. He let his head fall to the soft blanket. He heard Naruto grunting against his neck and felt his warm seed filling him with a smile on his face._

_Naruto__ collapsed next to him and moved his hands lovingly over the raven's chest. Sasuke kept smiling. _

"_That was... awesome..." Naruto said between pants, a goofy smile on his face. Sasuke snorted next to him and rested his head on Naruto's shoulder._

"_What was the first thing... that you thought when you first saw me at the record store?" Sasuke asked with a smile on his face. Yup. He was not letting that go._

"_Pff... too tired... I'll tell you some other day." Naruto answered and placed a gentle kiss on top of his boyfriend's head. He received a playful kick._

When I woke up it was morning already. It had been a while since I dreamed about that day... I smile sadly at the thought... It's been a long while since I dreamed about Sasuke at all... everything was perfect and it felt like we had a great future together. What changed? And even worst... How am I going to break the news to Sasuke?


	18. Analyze this

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I actually have a very good reason, but you're here to read fanfiction, not my life.

**Maomi**: Thank you, enjoy the new chapter! And there's no need to kill me, I'll finish the story soon.

**demi uzumaki**: Thank you, I'm still here, so that's something. I'm glad you like my story.

**naname**: Probably... only Naruto knows that =]

**Dana**: Sometimes you do lose control, and yes, it happened to me a couple of times, it wasn't pretty and it got me kicked out of one school. It's not like I'm agressive and angry all the time, sometimes I'm so happy and hyper that I lose control of my actions too, well, not too much if I'm on medication =] and you can control it with both, medicine and therapy, but the therapy is just to control the anger issues in most cases. I hope that answers your question.

Thank you for your reviews! Enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------

"So this is the twelfth time that you called him and still no answer, right?" Shizune, my psychologist asked me as he wrote something in a notebook.

Six months have passed since Naruto left. The first weeks were the hardest, trying to keep myself drunk most of the time, until Neji found me on the kitchen's floor throwing up my guts.

He forced me to take therapy, the psychologist he sent me to, Shizune, used to be Naruto's therapyst, the first sessions I spent the whole hour just staring at her and refusing to answer her questions. After the sixth session, I broke down and started to tell everything from the death of my parents to the three weeks I spent drowning myself on alcohol, this is the therapy number twenty-one.

I don't usually trust people so easily, but I feel that somehow she can help me get better so when Naruto comes back I can do everything the right way, she knows him well, after all.

"I think the fourth time I called him he changed his number or blocked mine." I answer looking at the window.

"What were you going to tell him if he answered the phone?" She asked me putting down her notebook on top of the desk.

"I haven't think about it. I don't know... maybe I would say that I'm better now, that I'm still waiting for him to come back ... maybe ask him to come back sooner..." I answer honestly, looking anywhere except her eyes.

"Do you think you're better now?" She asked me making me doubt myself.

"I guess... I haven't been drunk lately, I eat better and I even slept better the last few months..." I say looking at her hands resting on her lap.

"We are going to make a little summary of what you have said to me, is that ok?" We make eye contact and I nod, she takes her notebook and I look outside the window again, I know this is going to make me uncomfortable.

"The first six sessions you didn't told me anything other than your name and that you were forced to come to therapy. In the sessions that followed you told me a little more about your life, starting with the fact that your boyfriend left you, then you told me about the accident where your parents died when you were a child, you mentioned a little about your childhood, when you met Naruto and what happened with your brother, which reminds me, two sessions ago you said you wanted to talk to your brother to hear his reasons. How are you going with that?" She asked me over her notebook, I look towards the window again to avoid looking her eyes.

"Well ... after I called him on his birthday, June 9th, he called me on mine, July 23rd, we said congratulations and all that stuff, he said he was fine and that I could call him anytime I want..." I answered still avoiding her eyes.

"You already told me that, Sasuke, it's writen right here, you also mentioned that Naruto called on Neji's birthday and sent you his congratulations on your birthday with Shikamaru, have you tried to communicate with Itachi again?" I glare at the notebook and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I will do it sometime in the week ... Can we continue with the summary?" She sighs in defeat and continues.

"Well... we'll start with that the next session ... After that you started living with Naruto, the relationship became abusive after the first months-"

"He stopped taking his medication and I was behaving like a jerk with him, I never mentioned the word "abusive". Isn't that writen on the notebook?" I correct her, this time our eyes meet.

"Sorry, that was my own interpretation, but are you justifying your actions or his?" She asked with that voice of superiority that makes me don't want to come back to the sessions.

"Neither." I respond with indifference, we have already gone through this, there is no need to talk about this again. "After that I told you how I stopped having sex with Naruto and he cheated on me with Gaara, his boss, we fixed that with Neji's help, he did it again and left me on a Thursday, April 9th I think, I spent three weeks drinking myself to unconsciousness, Neji forced me to come to therapy, I decided to try to fix the relationship with my brother, I called him on his birthday, he called on mine, Naruto didn't but had the decency to send his best wishes with Shikamaru, I called him God knows how many times, he never answered, Shikamaru's birthday is coming, I told you that I won't get drunk like I did on Neji's, I had a dream about Naruto last night so I decided to call him again, and he didn't answered, again, that pretty much covers the summary, am I right?" When I finish speaking I'm breathing hard and glaring at her. She returns the gaze calmly, analyzing me, I hate it when she does that.

"I'll take the lack of cursing in everything you just said as a small improvement." She responds with a small smirk, the bitch. "Well, today is Friday... September 18th, the next session will be the 25th and you can tell me then how did it go on Shikamaru's birthday, is that ok? (I nod) Perfect, you have my number in case something happens." She smiles politely, I nod once more and shake the hand extended towards me. I get up and before I leave she calls my name.

"I forgot to mention, I would like to try something new, if it goes well I'll tell your friend Neji that you don't need more therapy, Okay?" She says organizing some papers on her desk.

"What is it about?" I ask with interest, I really want to finish the sessions. She turns around and looks at me with a small smile on her lips.

"I want you to get to your house and think about today's session, you have a little homework for the next one, write four letters, one to Itachi, one for Neji, one for Naruto and one to yourself, you don't have to give them the letters if you don't want to, but I want you to write all your emotions on paper, tell them everything that you don't dare to say, be honest with yourself and with them in those letters, if we achive the purpose of this activity the next one will be the last session closure." I look at her with suspicion, she walks around her desk and sits in the chair behind it.

"What is the purpose?" I ask looking at the stupid notebook that she left at the corner of her desk.

"You will know it when it happens." _Great_.


	19. I want you to know that I miss you

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters. Nor James Blunt, he owns himself.

The song is 'High' by James Blunt.

AN: I really tried to update this sooner, but I've been very busy... sorry. I wrote a longer chapter though =]

I didn't check the spelling and it probably looks a little rushed. Sorry again, but it took me a lot of time to write it and it made sense in my head, which means that it won't make any sense to you what so ever. And I love a melodramatic Sasuke =D Anyway... Enjoy!

**Dana: **Thanks for your review! And no problem, I like to answer questions =] I love Itachi too. I'll write a little more about him soon.

**Uchiha Michiru: **I'm actually studying psychology =P One of my teachers tried this kind of therapy with us one day, the results were really... interesting... yeah... well, thank you for your review! I'm really glad you're still reading my story n_n

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When I got home I couldn't get out of my head that stupid therapy session. I mean... what kind of therapy is that? Will I get magically better if I write a couple of words dedicated to some people? And that letter that I have to write for myself, seriously, what was she thinking?

I spent all Friday night thinking about it. And about Naruto. It would be easy to write _him_ a letter. I feel like I have so much to tell him.

Saturday was no different. Except for one thing. I decided to give Itachi Uchiha a call.

Well... I decided to call him after thinking about it all morning. But around 2 pm I was pretty sure that that's what I wanted to do.

It took me a little while to do it, but at 11pm I finally dialed his number. And hung up before I could heard the dial tone. I didn't get much sleep that night.

I had dinner with Neji and Shikamaru on Sunday, like usual. I asked them if there were any plans for Shikamaru's birthday. They exchanged glances and said something about a little reunion on Tuesday, in which I wouldn't drink. Neji made that clear. I stopped trying to make conversation.

I haven't found a job yet. Hell... I'm not sure if I'm even looking for one. I thought about asking Itachi to hire me. Heh. I must have been drunk that night...

So... that's why I'm sitting in front of a notebook with a pen in my hand trying to write a stupid letter. I think I'm going to start with Itachi's. This is pretty pointless, but if it gets me out of therapy then I'm doing it. It's not like I have something better to do.

_To Itachi:_

_My therapyst told me to write you a letter and tell you all the things I couldn't say to you. So I guess I'm going to write them. Even if I know that you won't read them. Because I won't send this letter to you. Because this is stupid_

It's going better than I thought. I take a deep breath. Close my eyes. It's not so hard. I just need to take this seriously. I can do it.

_I probably don't know what to tell you because I don't know you anymore. Maybe I never did..._

_The truth is... that I miss feeling like I have a family._

_I don't understand why you did the things you did, it was maybe because you were drunk out of your mind. But I wasn't. I was sober enough to remember every detail, every touch, every_

Wow... Another deep breath... Okay...

_I think about you sometimes. I remembered what we used to do on your birthdays. I should have seen it coming. I know that what happened wasn't my fault but it's not like I tried to stop you... I guess I trusted you too much._

_Is it weird that I don't hate you?_

_I tried, I really did. But I feel like I can't hate you, or forgive you, if I don't know why did you do it._

_I wish you could tell me someday._

_I miss my big brother. The one that used to be everything to me. That's why I called you. That's why I want to talk. Even if I don't get my big brother back... I want to know that at least I tried._

_That's all I have to say. Oh, and I **will** call you one day... probably this week..._

_Sasuke U._

It wasn't that bad... Okay... one down, three to go.

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_To Neji:_

_When we met we were so much alike. __Always calm, always collected._

_But now... I can't help to be jealous of you._

_My whole world is crashing down because the person I love left me, and there you are, calm and collected, and oh so happy with Shikamaru, how can I not feel jealous of that?_

_I feel so ashamed of what I did on your birthday... I didn't even apologized..._

_I remember the phone call. You looked at me and told me that it was Naruto. My Naruto._

_Why did he called you but he never even answered my calls? I asked you._

_You said that he has been calling you every week to check up on me. How sweet of him. I said._

_They all looked at me with pity in their eyes, your stupid friends._

_Then I got so drunk that I even tried to punch you. I don't remember what happened next. I just woke up in your bedroom. I don't even know where did you spent the night. I just left as soon as I could and acted like nothing happened the next day. You never said anything. But the pity was still there._

_You have always been there for me, even when I didn't want you to._

_Thank you._

_For your advice, your concern, your friendship._

_Thank you for doing so much for me without asking for something in return._

_Thank you for being there to save me from myself._

_You and Shikamaru have helped me so much._

_I'm glad he makes you happy, you deserve to be happy._

_I will always be indebted to you and I will try my best to be the perfect friend that you have always been to me._

_Just... Thank you._

_Sasuke U._

I'm definitely not showing that to him. He would probably laugh his ass off... or hug me... I don't know which one is worse...

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Alright... well... I might as well make it as corny as I can. Naruto won't read it anyway so... here goes nothing...

_To Naruto:_

_I don't even know where to start..._

_I miss you terribly..._

_I wish you could be here..._

_I would have loved to see you smile, sing and say stupid things just because..._

_I would have loved to go out with you, dance all night and be so happy until I feel exhausted and then walk home with you, holding hands..._

_I would have loved to feel your arms around me and hear you whisper in my ear that you love me, that I am the love of your life and there's no one else you could be with..._

_I would have loved to be happy with you... forever with you..._

_You always told me that you loved it when I smiled at you without a reason. But I had a reason._

_I love you._

_I've loved you for so long that I don't remember any other feeling._

_I knew I loved you when I saw my reflexion in your eyes and felt complete. I know I love you because when you left I couldn't see myself in the mirror anymore, I haven't even smiled in months..._

_I wished so many times to feel your embrace and feel protected, to hear you say "Don't be afraid, Sasuke. I'm here. I won't leave anymore" and feel safe, loved. I wished I could be the same Sasuke you fell in love with... I don't even know when did I changed..._

_I was always so afraid of losing you._

_Do you remember all the times when I couldn't take it anymore and asked you if you would always love me? You looked at me and said "Until the day I die."_

_It happened many times. I asked, being my stubborn self, over and over again the same question, you always answered me the same thing._

_And then you left and now I'm paying the price for thinking that you would love me until the day you die._

_I'm not stupid. I know that you may not come back to me, that's why I started drinking._

_I wanted to drink until I lost my pride, shame and feelings. I didn't care if I woke up on an alley or the bathroom floor because, for a moment while I was drunk, I didn't felt like dying..._

_I miss you... but I hate you so much sometimes..._

_I hate the way you broke me._

_I hate the way I lost myself in you empty words and touches._

_I hate the times when you made me bleed and feel ashamed of who I am._

_I hate the way you screamed and looked down at me when you were above me raping me until I bled, cried and pleaded and even then you didn't stop._

_But what I hate the most is those times when you said you loved me because, even when I hate you, I still would do anything to get you back._

_Am I an idiot for loving you? Is there any hope left? Did you ever loved me?_

_You have me. I'm all yours. And it kills me to think that you already know that, but you don't want me anymore and I can't do anything to change that._

_You know? Even when I said that you would never hurt me to the point of killing me, I always knew that you could. But everytime I think about it I get to the same conclusion._

_I would be happy to die by your hands. It's only right to take what it's yours._

_I need you... I miss you... I love you... and I hate it._

I feel sick. I try to calm my breathing and rub my eyes to take away the tears.

God... As I read the last letter again I feel... pathetic. It's true. Every word I wrote. And that's what makes it so ... pathetic.

I look at the clock. 5:37pm. It's not too late. I don't feel like writing anymore. I just have one letter left anyway.

Neji's probably home by now. And I could use someone to talk to.

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After a quick shower and half an hour of driving I get to Neji's doorstep.

"You should tell Sasuke about this, you know? He'll probably find out tomorrow when he sees him anyway." I heard Shikamaru's voice behind the door. I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing. And I shouldn't be eavesdropping...

"I know, I know... I'll talk to him tomorrow... Naruto will arrive to the party around nine anyway, so I still have time." Oh God... you better be right Neji...

Oh God... Oh God... OH GOD! Naruto's going to be here! I freaking knew it! This is unbelievable!

I don't even care about the rest of the conversation. I have to get ready. It's been six month. Six terribly long months. I should prepare something special. I... I can't believe it...

I will make everything perfect this time.

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Neji's POV

8:47 pm. Tuesday.

Thirty-nine times. I've called him thirty-nine times and he hasn't answered the phone. I even went to his place. No answer.

Shikamaru's going to kill me... So much for the perfect birthday...

Everyone's here already, well, except for Naruto and the stupid Uchiha.

I pour myself another glass of vodka and look around.

Shikamaru seems happy, that's good. Of course he will be a little less happy when he finds out that Sasuke doesn't know anything. He hates drama... and something tells me that the Uchiha will cause a scene.

Well... it could be worse...

"Hey! Hey! Hey! People! Uzumaki Naruto's in da house!" I turn around wincing at the loud, obnoxious and familiar voice. I missed that voice.

"Shika! My man! Happy birthday! Where's your wife?!" I hope he dies...

I look at the big mass of blond hair coming my way, the blue eyes and that stupid shit-eating grin. Well... maybe things won't be that bad after all...

"Hello Naruto, it's good to see you." I said politely and take a sip of my drink.

He smiles and shows me his hand. There's something in that hand... oh... this can't be good.

I found myself speechless as the front door opens and suddenly everything's quiet.

I turn my head to see kiba turning off the sound equipment and he gives someone a thumbs up sign. Weird.

There's music playing again and everybody continue doing whatever it is they were doing. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. For a second I thought that something was about to happen.

I look at Naruto again, only this time I'm staring at the back of his head and... Sasuke's right in front of him. Oh damn...

"That's the cd you gave me." Sasuke speaks softly. I think my heart beating sounds louder than that. He's looking at his shoes and has a blush on his face. I really hope he's not drunk... I try to pay attention to the song.

_Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.  
There is nothing else in the world,  
I'd rather wake up and see (with you).  
Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.  
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.  
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.  
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me._

"I've heard that song so many times..." Sasuke says and rubs the back of his neck with his right hand. I've never seen something so... I should stop him... I can't see Naruto's face. But I look at his hand and... oh fuck...

"I thought about a thousand things to say... but everytime I-" Sasuke's eyes found Naruto's hand. And he saw the same thing I saw minutes ago.

_Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?  
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,  
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.  
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me._

Naruto's hand was holding a pale fragile-looking hand, that hand was attached to a long lean arm. That arm belonged to a pale man with black-brown eyes and black and short hair.

I looked around when I saw Sasuke was doing just that.

Every single person was looking at the scene that was happening in front of me. Some of them were trying to hold back their laughter. Others were covering their mouths with their hands or whispering among them.


	20. Take me with you 'cause I'm lonely

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters.

AN: This chapter is dedicated to **kpop is luv** and **kagomebabygirl, **thanks for your support and advice n_n

By the way... if you like good stories you should read **Queer Vulgarity**, she's one of the best authors I've read, you'll love her stories as much as I do =]

**Sammeh: **I'm so glad you like it! I'll try to update as soon as I can =] Thank you for your review!

**Snow white: **Hey! Long time no see! Yes, it was him. Thanks for the review! It's good to know that you're still reading this =]

**Dana: **lol Hey! It's not my fault, blame Sasuke, he was the one who did it!

**lol101: **I know what you mean. Sometimes it sucks when you do stupid things for someone you love. I think Sasuke learned the lesson n_n Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the story.

Thank you for your reviews! Enjoy. =]

Sasuke's POV

It was a pain in the ass, but after a little talk with Kiba, he agreed to help me.

As I enter Shikamaru's place I see all the people talking, drinking and laughing, I didn't even knew the Nara had so many friends.

I recognize some of them, but I can't see the dumb mutt...

There he is. He smiles at me and points at something, I follow his finger with my eyes and I can't help but smile. Naruto's right there.

His blond hair seems longer, he's smiling and walking towards Neji.

The music stops and I turn to look at Kiba, he grins and gives me a thumps up sign. I sigh and try to calm my nerves.

The music starts playing again, I take a deep breath and walk closer to Naruto, he's facing Neji, but neither of them are talking.

I take another deep breath and tap Naruto's shoulder, he turns around slowly and I look at the floor, I knew this would be hard, but I have to do it. I have to show him I care.

"That's the cd you gave me." I speak softly. I can feel my face getting warm. I wait a couple of seconds for him to say something, I don't dare to look him in the eye, instead I look at his feet, he's wearing some ugly flip flops, I didn't even knew he had flip flops... I take another deep breath.

"I've heard that song so many times..." I say a little louder, I don't really know what I'm doing anymore... I rub the back of my neck with my sweaty right hand. _Say something..._

"I thought about a thousand things to say... but everytime I-" I stop talking, time suddenly freezes. I can still hear the song playing but I... I don't know what to say anymore...

_Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?  
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,  
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.  
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me._

Naruto's holding a pale man's hand, I look at him. He has black hair and black eyes, he's as pale as me, he has a fake smile on his lips and he's looking back at me with... amusement?

I turn my head slightly to look at Naruto, his eyes are wide open and his lips are parted, he doesn't look pleasantly surprised...

I hear whispers and snickers and I look around slowly.

Everyone's looking at me, laughing at me. Even Kiba, he's holding his stomach and laughing.

I feel sick.

I turn around and just run out of there. I hear someone calling my name, I think it was Naruto, but I don't stop until I'm back at my apartment.

I open the door, take off my shoes and socks and drop on my knees, panting, my lungs are burning.

I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life...

Naruto's POV

What the fuck just happened?

I hear myself calling his name, but I can't move, I'm just so... shocked. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to him." Neji says to me softly.

"No. I'll go. Come on, Sai." I walk out of the apartment without looking at anyone, some people were even laughing, idiots...

"I'll wait for you at the hotel." Sai says once we're out of there. I let go of his hand and fake a smile.

"Alright, see you later." He smiles and nod.

Now I need to talk to Sasuke... damn... I sure as hell wasn't expecting that...

Normal POV

Naruto knocked on Sasuke's door, but got no answer. He sighed and knocked again.

"Sasuke?" The blond's voice was soft, as if afraid of making more damage.

"Please... just leave..." Sasuke whispered without opening the door. Naruto closed his eyes and spoke louder.

"I have to apologize... I thought that Neji told you about it... I... I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay... I'm fine... just... I need to be alone..." The raven interrupted him.

"I just want to talk... Can I come in? Please..." Naruto said softly, resting his forehead on the wooden door.

He waited a couple of seconds for an answer, but decided to take the silence as the raven's permission.

He opened the door slowly. Sasuke was sitting on the floor, looking at his bare feet. He looked miserable and uncomfortable. Naruto swallowed and closed the door with his back.

Sasuke stood up, facing Naruto, his eyes were wet with tears, but we couldn't let them flow. He wouldn't cry in front of Naruto. Not now.

Naruto took off his flip flops and placed them next to Sasuke's shoes.

Silence.

They sat on the couch. Sasuke staring at his hands. Naruto staring at Sasuke.

After a couple of minutes Sasuke broke the silence.

"... What's his name?" He asked quietly.

"... Sai... we met a couple of months ago... we're nothing serious..." Naruto answered shifting uncomfortably.

"You were holding his hand..." The raven whispered.

"I know... it doesn't mean anything though..." Naruto said, looking at the little coffee table.

"How did you two meet?" Sasuke asked without taking his eyes off his own hands.

"He works for Gaara too. The first day we talked he was pretty rude." The blond said with a soft laugh. "We started fighting and just one day... I don't know..."

"Do you have feelings for him?" Sasuke asked closing his eyes.

"I don't think so... I mean... I do like him... but is just... sex... he doesn't want a serious relationship..." Naruto said scratching the back of his neck with his left hand.

"Do you?" Sasuke asked, finally turning his head to look at the blond.

"Not with him, we're just not like that." Naruto answered avoiding the raven's eyes.

Silence.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. He didn't enjoy being interrogated.

"Is... is he better than me?..." Sasuke asked softly.

"What?" Naruto asked confused.

"In bed... is he better...?"

Naruto's eyes widened at the question. He was shocked that Sasuke would ask someting like that.

"Well... he was... different... I... I don't know how to describe it..." Naruto said awkwardly.

"Different...?" Sasuke asked, once again trying to make eye contact with the blond. Naruto sighed, he glanced at Sasuke, but quickly looked away.

"I mean... we didn't made love... it was just sex... with you... it was different... I cared about pleasing you... like the last time we... you know... in the shower, a couple of days before I left... it was-"

"That wasn't the last time." Sasuke stated clenching his fist.

"Yes it was-" Before he could continue talking he remembered that Sasuke was right, the last time they were together was when he raped Sasuke. "Oh..."

"When are you leaving again?" Sasuke asked, changing the subject.

"I'm staying here. I already got an apartment. I don't really like living in Suna. I grew up here and I couldn't wait to come back, you know?" Naruto answered, grateful about the change in the subject.

Sasuke glanced in his direction, but he couldn't meet the blond's eyes. He covered his face with his hands and sighed.

"I'm so embarrased..."

"Why would you... oh... well... it wasn't that bad..." Naruto tried to comfort him with a soft smile, even though the raven couldn't see it.

"At least I didn't sing or something like that." Sasuke said, he let out a bitter laugh and rested his chin on his intertwined fingers, his elbows resting on his knees. "I'm guessing that kiba knew that you were going to the party with Sai."

"Yeah... he called me to ask me if I was going..." Naruto said confused.

"Oh... no wonder he was so eager to help me... I would have called you, but I figured that you wouldn't answer..." Sasuke said closing his eyes. He didn't want to think about all those times he called, desperate to hear the blond's voice.

"I'm sorry about that..." Naruto said sounding apologetic.

"Don't be. You told me not to call anyway." Sasuke replied coldly, with his eyes closed.

They sat in silence, Naruto staring at the back of Sasuke's head, feeling awkward.

"Did you... thought about me... while you were away?" Sasuke asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Well... yeah... of course I did... I talked about you with my therapyst almost everyday the first months." Naruto answered leaning back with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. From that position he couldn't see the little smile forming on Sasuke's lips.

"Did you thought about... getting back together?" Sasuke asked a little louder, his voice full of hope.

"God, no..." Naruto said glancing at Sasuke's bent form. The raven straightened without looking at Naruto, his smile banishing completely. Naruto noticed the change in Sasuke's position and corrected himself. "I mean... I missed you but... we were horrible together... I don't know... maybe in the future, I still need a lot of therapy but I'm not sure if... it will happen at all... I guessed that... me leaving meant that we were over." Naruto straightened too and tried to look at Sasuke's face, but since his former lover was facing away from him, Naruto couldn't see his expression.

"So that's it? You don't want to fight for us?" Sasuke asked in a strained voice, closing his eyes and fists tightly.

"There's no 'us' here anymore..." Naruto said softly, placing a hand gently on top on Sasuke's fist.

"This... this can't be it..." Sasuke whispered trying hard not to cry, still facing away from Naruto.

"...Then how come it is?" Naruto's voice caused Sasuke to open his eyes and turned his head to look into those blue eyes he missed so much. Those eyes weren't cold, he could feel Naruto's guilt and affection, he shaked Naruto's hand off and stood up, wrapping his arms around himself.

"What happens now?" Sasuke asked in a small voice with his eyes closed.

"I don't know... I don't want to stop seeing you though... Is it too selfish to ask you to be my friend?" The blond asked standing up and placing his hands on Sasuke's shoulders.

"F-friends? I..." Sasuke started shaking and he couldn't open his eyes, because he new he would cry. He waited more than six months so he could be with Naruto again. This wasn't what he was expecting at all.

"I'm sorry... you don't have to answer right now..." Naruto said softly, pulling Sasuke against his chest by his shaking shoulders. Sasuke let out a strangled sob and fisted Naruto's shirt, burying his face into the soft shirt. "Do... do you want me to leave?" Naruto asked hesitantly. Sasuke lessened his hold on Naruto's shirt and took a deep breath. He let go of Naruto and took a step back rubbing furiously his eyes with both hands, trying to erase any trace of the couple of tears that managed to escape his eyes.

"I... could we..." Sasuke took another deep breath and look at Naruto's blue eyes. "I don't like that our last time together was... what it was... I want... just one more time... could you pretend for me? It doesn't matter if you leave right after we're done... I just-" Sasuke said clenching and unclenching his hands, trying to control his emotions. Naruto interrupted him.

"It will only make it harder..." Naruto said and walked towards Sasuke, hugging him close. Sasuke hugged him back.

"I know... but... I... need this..." He said, his voice shaking.

"... Are you sure you want this? I'm not sure if we should..." Naruto said stroking Sasuke's soft hair. Sasuke didn't answer, but he placed a soft kiss on Naruto's neck and grabbing a tanned hand with his pale one he walked with Naruto to the bedroom.

Naruto bit his lip before pushing Sasuke onto the bed. He still wanted Sasuke, seeing the raven lying beneath him was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. "... You're gorgeous, you know that?" Naruto said and smiled sadly. Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment, when he opened them he took Naruto's hand in his and placed it on his shirt, Naruto took the hint and started unbuttoning the shirt.

Sasuke layed his arms down beside his body as he looked at Naruto, who was busy opening his shirt slowly.

"... If you want me to stop all you have to do is tell me, okay?" Naruto said as he started opening Sasuke's pants, while kissing softly Sasuke's bare chest. God! He really missed Sasuke's body.

"... Hn" Sasuke said while he put his own shirt off. "...I want this..."

"Good..." The blond said and licked over Sasuke's chest now, while pulling down the raven's pants and boxers.

Sasuke sighed and moved his hands through Naruto's hair. He really wanted this. He needed to feel loved. He needed Naruto's hands on his skin. He needed Naruto more than ever.

Naruto kissed and licked Sasuke's neck, his hands were roaming everywhere, touching all the skin he could get. He licked Sasuke's nipple while playing with the other one rolling it between his fingers. His other hand was busy massaging Sasuke's hip softly.

Sasuke moaned quietly and wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck.

"... Naruto..." Sasuke whispered closing his eyes.

Naruto smiled as he massaged Sasuke's legs and kept on sucking on one of his perky nipples. Sasuke moaned softly and started panting a little.

Naruto kissed his way down to Sasuke's growing erection, taking a few seconds licking his navel and hips and then suddenly pushed his mouth on the pulsing organ, licking over it. Sasuke gasped loudly and arched off the bed.

Naruto closed his eyes and grabbed Sasuke's erection with one hand, he licked slowly the glistening head tasting the little drops of pre-cum and then covered it with his mouth, sucking slightly.

Sasuke moaned louder this time while Naruto bobbed his head up and down sucking hard enough to hollow his cheeks. Soon Sasuke was bucking his hips forward and gripping Naruto's hair with both hands, moaning loudly.

Naruto slowed down his bobbing and put three fingers against Sasuke's lips. The raven gripped Naruto's wrist with both hands and took the three fingers into his mouth, moving his tongue between them, coating them with his saliva. Naruto moaned at the feeling, God! Sasuke's squirming and moaning, along with his mouth was making him crazy and he couldn't hold back any longer. He took his fingers out of Sasuke's mouth and moved his hand to Sasuke's ass.

His finger reached Sasuke's quivering opening and he put it inside slowly, feeling the muscles clenching around the invading digit. The blond's mouth let go of Sasuke's cock with a pop and rested his hand on top of a trembling pale thigh.

"...Sh-should I... keep going..?" Naruto asked, and then he saw the need in Sasuke's eyes. The love, the hunger. The raven nodded and spread his legs wide.

Naruto pulled out his finger and then pushed it back in, going faster and faster each time. Sasuke moaned and gripped the blond's wrist with one hand and looked at Naruto. Naruto nodded and replaced the one finger with two. Sasuke moaned louder and tightened his grip on Naruto's wrist pushing the fingers deeper inside himself.

Naruto moaned too and spread his fingers slowly, feeling the inside of Sasuke. It was so tight and warm... Naruto started panting against Sasuke's arm. He started thrusting the fingers inside Sasuke faster, the raven was clenching oh so deliciously on his fingers and practicaly fucking himself with them, Naruto couldn't remember seeing him this horny.

"... M-more... Na-Naruto... oh God..." Sasuke panted. Naruto pushed in another finger, spreading them again. Sasuke gave a loud moan. It burned a little but he wanted this so much, it was driving him mad.

Sasuke suddenly let go of Naruto's wrist and put his arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

Naruto kissed Sasuke's collarbone and supported his weight with his left hand, that was next to Sasuke's body. He continued scissoring his fingers and moving them in and out of Sasuke's tight passage.

Sasuke moaned and panted, moving his body with the thrusts. "I-I'm ready... now..." Sasuke breathed out on top of Naruto's head.

"...Al-alright... alright" Naruto nodded pulling his fingers out of Sasuke. He sat on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt as fast as he could, he took it off and stood up quickly, opening his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers, he kicked them off and turn around to see Sasuke, on all fours, staring at him, panting softly.

"... Oh fuck..." Naruto moaned. "...L-lube... where?" Naruto said incoherently looking at Sasuke's body and that wild look on those black eyes.

"..I want you now." Sasuke panted as he grabbed Naruto and forced him to sit on the bed. Before Naruto could do anything, Sasuke sucked lightly the head of the blond's pulsing organ before dropping his head further and taking half of Naruto's manhood into his mouth and giving a hard, long suck, when he felt Naruto's shudder he swallowed the blond's erection whole. Naruto threw his head back with a loud moan and rested one of his hands on the back of the ravens neck, the other hand made it's way to the pale man's back caressing and scratching the soft skin.

Naruto let out a scream as Sasuke tongued his tip and lightly cupped his balls. He began to scratch the soft skin of Sasuke's backside as the tongue pushed harder into his slit and the hand cupping his balls squeezed softly. Sasuke gave one last, long suck, before licking the tip and looking up at the blonde with hungry eyes.

Sasuke straddled Naruto and sat back on Naruto's lap and ground his ass onto the stiff organ.

The blond bucked up, his erection rubbing against Sasuke's crease and teasing his puckered hole. Sasuke groaned and leaned forward; crushing his erection painfully between their stomachs and rubbing his entrance harder against Naruto's erection, his face was close to the blonde's, his breath tickling Naruto's lips.

Naruto gulped and stared at Sasuke's face. The raven's eyes were closed and his mouth parted and so close to Naruto's, Sasuke licked his dry lips and the tip of his tongue brushed against Naruto's lips. The blond moaned in the back of his throat. "S-Sasuke... w-want to kiss... y-you..." The blond panted looking at those soft wet lips.

Sasuke opened his eyes slowly, blue and black met for a second and then Sasuke closed his eyes again and leaned forward and caught Naruto's mouth with his own wet lips. He nibbled playfully on the blond's bottom lip, Naruto closed his eyes and opened his mouth lightly, Sasuke moaned softly before plunging his tongue into the warmth of Naruto's mouth. He licked the roof of Naruto's mouth before finding his tongue and tangling them together.

They broke the passionate kiss and stared into their hungry eyes. Sasuke reached between his legs without breaking the eye contact and slowly let the tip of Naruto's erection slide past his ring of muscle, wincing slightly at the first intrusion.

Naruto groaned and watched with mild amazement as Sasuke slowly impaled himself to the hilt on his erection. He was too tight and felt so good.

Sasuke moaned loudly and stilled as he reached the base of Naruto's cock, waiting until he adjusted to the large and pulsing organ. Naruto tried very hard not to buck up into the tight heat that surrounded him. He didn't want to hurt the little raven.

Sasuke took deep breaths, and experimentally rolled his hips, feeling Naruto's organ stroke his inner walls. Naruto gasped and observed Sasuke's flushed appearance and strained expression. He gently rolled his hips upwards, Sasuke moaned and braced his hands on Naruto's chest.

"A-are.. you o-okay?" Naruto panted softly, placing his hands on Sasuke's slim hips.

Sasuke nodded and gripped the broad shoulders as the raised himself, groaning as he felt the hardness move out of him until only the head was inside and he slowly descended again.

Naruto started moaning and panting desperate to go faster, he gripped Sasuke's hips harder and groaned. Sasuke noted this and he raised himself again and slammed back down harshly. He cried out as his prostate was stroked and began a fast and unsteady pace.

Naruto's mouth attached itself to Sasuke's neck and started nipping and sucking, he put both arms around the raven to help him go faster. Sasuke could feel his sensitive nipples rubbing against Naruto's hard chest. All the pain of being filled was gone now and he couldn't think about anything but the incredible pleasure.

Sasuke raised himself quickly, arching his body towards Naruto and slammed back down. His face screwed up in intense pleasure as his prostate was hit dead on. Sasuke cupped Naruto's chin and brought their lips together. Both immediately opened their mouth and fought with each other until one's tongue was in the other's mouth. Sasuke sucked on the blonde's tongue vigorously as impaled himself continually.

As soon as they broke the kiss Sasuke got off of Naruto's lap and layed on his back, panting harshly and spreading his legs wide open. Naruto, still dazed for the sudden loss of pleasure looked at him and slowly his eyes found a little pink quivering hole. He groaned loudly, moved towards Sasuke, grabbed his legs and pushed into him immediately.

Sasuke let out a long, hard moan and grabbed Naruto's head, pushing it down and kissing him passionately. Naruto kissed him back as he thrusted into him, hard and fast.

As they parted for air, Sasuke opened his eyes and stared at Naruto's face. His eyes were closed tightly, his wet lips were parted letting out hot puffs of air. He was perfect. He didn't want this to end. He felt that he was getting tears in his eyes. He turned his head to the side when Naruto's lips tried to catch his own in a bruising kiss. The blond kissed his neck instead. But he didn't seem to mind it.

Sasuke tried to get lost in all the pleasure but he couldn't ignore the burning feeling inside his gut. This was probably the last time. Because Naruto didn't love him anymore. He tightened his arms around Naruto's neck and clenched his eyes shut.

"... God... so good... fuck..." Naruto groaned against the raven's neck. Sasuke opened his eyes. After this, Naruto would go back to Sai, and Sasuke could only let it happen. He let the tears out now, while his hold on Naruto got even stronger. He started to move with him.

"...N-Na-Naruto..." Sasuke moaned as he felt the tears running down his face. He started sobbing quietly and turned his head to the other side when Naruto tried to kiss him again. He tried to concentrate in the pleasure, pressing his eyes shut.

Naruto didn't notice Sasuke's tears or sobs, he only heard the little gasps and moans that Sasuke let out in time with the thrusts. He moved into Sasuke over and over, wanting it to last, but feeling the pleasure build up inside.

Sasuke spread his legs open wider and kept moaning in pleasure. He was close, he could feel it. It was almost over. He swallowed as he felt himself over the edge.

Naruto kept on placing open mouthed kisses all over Sasuke's neck and shoulders. Sasuke let his hands go through Naruto's golden locks of hair and pressed him harder against his neck.

"Sa-Sasuke... I-I'm..." Naruto moaned against Sasuke's wet neck.

"...C-come in-inside... of me..." Sasuke breathed, tears still streaming down his face. This was it.

"...F-fuck!" Naruto screamed as he rammed himself inside Sasuke, feeling the raven's insides milk him dry.

Sasuke came with a strangled sob, gripping Naruto's hair tightly and throwing his head back. His seed covering Naruto's stomach and his own.

Naruto collapsed on top of Sasuke, breathing hard. Sasuke cried silently, not wanting Naruto to know how much it hurt. How much he wanted to be loved by the blond.

"...T-that was... something worth... remembering... huh?" Naruto panted with a goofy smile and kissed Sasuke's neck.

"Y-yes..." Sasuke sobbed. Naruto felt it and turned to look at Sasuke's face. The raven's beautiful face was covered by tears. How could he not notice it before?

"...I... I'm sorry... I don't know what to say... do... do you want me to... leave you alone for a moment?" Naruto asked and kissed Sasuke's face, kissing the tears away.

Sasuke nodded, closing his eyes tightly.

Naruto nodded to himself as he stepped off the bed and put on his boxers, pants and shirt.

Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at Naruto. He pulled up the covers to cover himself, not wanting to dress.

Naruto turned to look at Sasuke. The raven was crying silently, clutching the covers with both fists.

"...I-it's o-okay... g-go..." Sasuke sobbed and smiled sadly at Naruto.

"... I don't want to leave you like this..." The blond whispered.

"... I-I wanted th-this... i-it's f-fine... j-just g-go..." Sasuke said, still smiling.

"Ok... I guess... I'll see you around..." Naruto said. Sasuke nodded to him.

"Goodbye then..." Naruto said after taking a deep breath. He turned around and walked towards the door and opened it. He looked back once and smiled sadly at Sasuke. Then he walked out of the room and closed the door again.

Sasuke broke down and started crying uncontrollably as he grabbed his head with both hands. Naruto was gone.


End file.
